Who: The Indianapolis Colts vs. the Bye Week
What: Week 6 of the 2019 NFL season.
Where: On the couch. In your bed. Wherever you feel it needs to be.
When: All day long, Sunday, October 13th.
This is not a serious article, but allow me a few moments here. Last Sunday’s win against the Chiefs will go down as one of my favorites ever. What a gritty effort by the entire team. Kudos to the o-line, who did what they should and punched a bad defense square in the mouth. Kudos to the defense for holding up much, much better than people were expecting.
Brisket, though. This was the second straight game where his tendency to stare down the first read resulted in an interception. People say the NFL stands for Not For Long, and it’s true, but it’s always said in reference to the length of the average career. Same thing applies to film. If you have a tendency you can’t shake, the opponent will find it. The Colts have to get Brisket out of this habit stat, because they are not going to be able to continue winning the way they did in KC. He’s got to step it up.
Why the Colts will score more than the other guys:
1. Luck
No, no, no, not that guy. C’mon now. It’s the bye week. Go make chili (and invite me over). Have a cookout (also invite me over; I can eat more than once). Watch other games. Go hang out with your family.
Like this…
It’s 1 PM, Indy time. Game time. It’s a spectacular day. Hell, the roof might even be open today (LOL, as if). There’s a family enjoying a walk, and as they near the statue of Peyton Manning, they see a disheveled looking man with a full beard, and wearing cargo shorts and crocs, sitting atop it.
Man: “Isn’t that….?” Woman: “You’re imagining things again. I think that guy quit or something.” They walk away as the man holds up a cardboard sign that says “I gave my heart to this team!”
Stadium security soon converges on the statue, but the man jumps off, eludes the security, and races off, never to be seen again.
2. YES I’M AWARE THIS IS A BYE WEEK JUST WORK WITH ME HERE JEEZ
I asked Jess:
“Because the other team won’t score more points?”
Then I asked Louise:
“We don’t have to play lol.”
“Uhhhh, hurt players get to rest.”
I wish our format allowed for emojis, because right now you’d see a facepalm.
Five of them. Minimum.
Mr. Asterisk: “Drawing a blank.” Good help is hard to find, folks.
Julie: “Because we are not the Jets.” The J-E-T-S actually play Sunday, against Dallas in a nationally televised game that merely proves how much the league and TV networks hate its fans. Finally someone comes through.
Chris Denari: “Colts fans: tired of the bye week? Improve your water like we do. Visit KineticoIndy dot com. Kinetico, the official sponsor of the Indiana Pacers.”
Score More doesn’t normally pander to sponsors, but at this point the author would like to give pictorial evidence of just how well the Kinetico water system works.
Denari has turned into a true stud since having the system installed at his house:
3. It’s deja vu all over again
The author misses his friend Allie. Longtime readers also feel the pain. Allie is doing well in cheerleader retirement, and is kicking arse in motherhood.
Whew
Colts 19, Bye week 17 (Brisket throws 2 killer picks but the defense overcomes it. STOP STARING DOWN YOUR RECEIVERS, BRISKET)
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