Will Someone Please Get John Farrell A Larger Hat?

News broke on Tuesday night that the Boston Red Sox have been busted using Apple Watches to steal signs against the Yankees.

The Internet didn’t disappoint:

New Red Sox team gear #WatchGate pic.twitter.com/oOdPTbjEY2

— SportsBlogNewYork (@SportBlogNYC) September 5, 2017

Over under on Tim Cook’s dad jokes during his keynote at the Apple event on the 12th?

Let’s open the line at 2 1/2.

https://twitter.com/coolcam101/status/905216347117780992

https://twitter.com/coolcam101/status/905209579843207169

As Cardinals fans, the move here is to take a step back and appreciate our good fortune.

Hacking scandal, you say?

Well… at least they had the decency to not besmirch the good name of a quality wearable!

Really, the only question I have coming out of this ‘scandal’ stems from a pic I saw of Red Sox manager John Farrell (courtesy of Rick Madonik of the Toronto Star):

My fellow human…

What is going on with your head?

Managing a baseball team is hard. Managing one in Boston is harder. Managing one while wearing a cap that is trying to squish your brain our the very top of your skull is unnecessarily hard.

Is someone attempting the rubber band vs watermelon challenge on John’s head in between innings?

I’m too lazy to look up who the equipment manager is for the Red Sox.

But if you know him/her, please have them slip skip a sized up New Era.

I’m worried.

Photo: Dailymotion