Who remembers their first sports achievement? Was it learning to swim? Catching a ball? Running faster than a brother or sister?
Whatever your memory is, you don’t remember your first athletic move. Your mom and dad do.
Maybe it was the first time you raised a hand in your crib and whacked the mobile hanging over your face. Or the first time you pushed the ball your parents had been rolling towards you on the floor.
Call them Baby Olympics. Your gold medal performance encouraged your parents to think you’d be an athlete.
When sports people have kids, the amazement grows strong. You know your kid is ahead of the curve and you can’t wait to show off their new skills.
Except when the time comes, baby won’t perform. They’re hungry, or tired, or both. Roll the ball to them and it sits there. Swing something near them and they don’t notice. This is when new parents start to worry.
Relax. There’s nothing wrong with your kid, just like there’s nothing wrong with Stephen Curry’s shot in the NBA Finals. Sometimes it’s just not there.
If an athlete shows promise, parents go overboard. They subscribe to sports magazines. They enroll their kid in sports camps. Most important, they forget to let their kid develop feelings for sports.
You’ve seen the parents who push their kids into leagues beyond their ability. They drop off, park the car, and stay on the sidelines for every practice and game. Other parents drop their kids off and pick them up between errands. There is no one size fits all rule.
What does fit all is enthusiasm. It’s pronounced en-THU-siasm. Does enthusiasm mean screaming non-stop all game long? Buying pro quality gear? Signing up for a travel team?
I knew a parent during my youth coaching days who was certain their kid was D1 college material. They talked about it all the time. The kid quit playing before they hit high school. It was devastating to the dad. Now he had tattoos that meant nothing if his kid wasn’t a star.
On the other end of the spectrum is the parent who has a kid, but you didn’t know they had a kid.
Their kid made it through youth sports, league teams, and finally gets to high school where they shine brighter than ever.
You’d never know it from talking to their parents. In a brash world of over the top hype for everything, a quiet parent is a treasure.
I met Sheila at the local gym. Part of my workout is stealing routines from smart gym people. She had a great workout, steady and strong. Some gym people you want to know, some you don’t. Either way, it’s important to keep a certain distance to get the work in.
If someone does the same thing as you, but better, pay attention. I’ve been paying attention for a few years and I’m still learning.
One day Sheila said her daughter plays soccer.
“You have a daughter?” I asked.
“And she plays soccer.”
“Is she any good?”
You can’t ask that question to someone you just met. It sounds like a challenge.
“She is. She’s pretty good.”
The experienced gym rat knows when to stop. My soccer coaching radar went off. This was either a parent hurting because their kid quit sports too early, got injured and will never be the same player, of they need to talk about something else.
“Does she still play?” I asked.
“She’s a high school senior and her season is over, so I’m not sure if she’ll play in college.”
“But there’s a chance?”
“Well, she’s the 4A State Player of the Year. She could play somewhere, but we think she’s going to Oregon State.”
“Player of the Year? Why didn’t you say so? That’s amazing. You’ve got a player of the year in the house.”
Until you have an athlete drawing attention for their sport, it’s hard to explain what happens. First you can’t believe it’s your kid. Then you feel bad for all the other kids who aren’t getting noticed.
“She was first team all-league all four years of high school. The last two years, first team all-state, and 4A Oregon Player of the Year.”
“You’re killing me. Your kid sounds amazing. How come you’ve never said anything?”
“I couldn’t be more proud of her, but I’m not living my life through her.”
This is what every parent needs to know. This mom was used to her daughter doing well, but Player of the Year? Wouldn’t you want to scream that from the rooftops?
“Maybe it’s the difference between girls and boys sports. Most parents of a boy who makes the varsity team in any sport walk around puffed up. They couldn’t handle Player of the Year honors.”
“I’m sure you’re right. My daughter’s been to the state championship game three out of her four high school years. Her team won the last two.”
“She’s a champion, too?”
“Last year she was nominated for the Oregon Sports Awards prep soccer player of the year, but didn’t make the finals.”
“That’s where you say it’s an honor to be nominated?”
“This year she’s one of the finalists.”
“How many are there?”
“Three women, three men.”
“All winners?”
“That’s how we see them.”
Good sports families see the sport first, then the team, then their kid.
They might see their athlete walk across the stage and hold an award that looks like the World Cup trophy.
Perfect for a soccer player.
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