Your Morning Dump... Where the Celtics are looking to rebound in game 2

Every morning, we compile the links of the day and dump them here… highlighting the big story line. Because there’s nothing quite as satisfying as a good morning dump.

See what I did there? That’s some quality writing! Of course, I ‘borrowed’ (or ‘stole’, whatever) the idea from the Globe:

When Boston and Chicago met in March, the Celtics actually held a 51-40 rebounding edge. But for the Celtics, Game 1 of their first-round playoff series looked more like those earlier meetings.

The Bulls outrebounded the Celtics, 53-36, and got second chances on an unfathomable 45.5 percent of their missed shots in their 106-102 win Sunday. By comparison, the Thunder led the league in offensive rebounding percentage during the regular season at 27.9.

Globe

Let’s talk about that game on Sunday. The C’s finished the game -17 in rebounds, and the Bulls snared offensive boards at a rate that was almost 2/3rds higher than that of the regular season leaders in the league.

And the Bulls won by 4.

The Bulls did not play particularly well, but you know what? That’s because they’re not a particularly good team.

The Bulls seized a once-in-a-season-turd-in-a-punch-bowl game by Boston and…

won…

by…

four.

If Boston narrows the rebounding gap to even -10, do you think the Bulls are going to win game 2? They shot roughly their season average last night. They’re not going to stand on their heads over the next however many games.

The Bulls were 41-41 at the end of the season, and by that point you are what your record says you are. After a grueling endurance test of a season, there’s not much left to hide. That’s one of the reasons why these early rounds are almost always chalk.

So yes, by all means, spend all of today either working yourself into a lather criticizing the personnel moves of a team that went from 26th to 4th in three years, or work yourself into a lather arguing against people who, based strictly on their opinions, are probably incapable of rational thought in this area.

Or just sit back, wait for the game, and wait for inertia. The C’s are the better team.

Page 2: Where there are few details on Chyna Thomas’ service

Stevens said the guard intends to stay in Boston for Game 2, fly to Tacoma, Wash., afterward, and rejoin the Celtics in time for Friday’s Game 3. The funeral details have not been finalized, but Stevens is hoping the Celtics can attend it as a team if possible.

“They haven’t finalized the memorial service plans or funeral plans,” said the coach. “They’re still working on that as a family. If that time comes, when that time comes, when they solidify those plans, obviously we hope to be able to go.” (emphasis added)

MassLive

I’m pretty sure the whole team will be there.

That’s who they are.

Page 3: Where Avery Bradley is a mensch

“We can say whatever to him, but I think our actions really let him know that we care for him,” explained Bradley. “It’s just a sanctuary being on the basketball court, so for us to be able to make him feel happy and make him feel like we have his back, I feel like as brothers that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

…

“Me and Isaiah have known each other since we were kids,” Bradley said. “So we’re just family. And no matter what goes on we’re always going to have each other’s back. We’re always going to be there for one another. And I think he knows that and I know the same about him. We’re always going to support each other. Not to say our teammates aren’t going to support us as well, but we’re family so it’s different. I’m going to be there for him no matter what. I’m just happy to be a part of his life.

MassLive

Not much to add to that. On Friday, AB was sticking up for Rajon Rondo, yesterday he was talking about Isaiah Thomas.

Finally: Some humor

Sources: After two years in Sacramento, Roland Beech, VP of Basketball Results, leaving Kings. Beech was well-paid analytics hire from Mavs.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) April 18, 2017

This is a veritable tiramisu of basketball humor. Enjoy each tasty layer.

The notion that any team would have such an absurd position.

The idea that this individual was highly paid

That the team apparently didn’t listen to him at all, despite what they paid him

And that the team which did all this is the Kings.

The Kings.

The decade-in-the-dumps Kings.

Vice President of Results?

Jeez. Who were his direct reports? The Director of Accomplishments and the Coordinator of Outcomes?

What did this guy even *do* every day?

Show up at the office, sit down behind the desk, and spend the next 8 hours playing NBA2k and inventing excuses to avoid meeting with Vivek and Vlade?

I mean, the very instant you get told that you’re the “VP of Basketball Results” you pretty much have to know that your boss is a moron and that you’re not going to be doing anything useful. Ever. I mean, maybe making sure there are plenty of K-cups in that little drawer under the machine, but that’s it.

And what a life! Can you imagine getting random texts from Vlade or Vivek like, “Is Buddy Hield the next Steph Curry, or is he going to be better than Steph Curry???” With a follow-up, “OMG, he’s going to be better than Curry and we just traded Cousins for him. And some other stuff. I’m not sure what. Check twitter.”