Oh, cool. It appears we’re back to wanting to scoop one another’s eyes out with a melon baller.
After the Penguins dismantled the Desert Dogs in Arizona on Saturday night, one would think that would’ve have bought them some time before scorched earth philosophy came back like a zombie on acid.
Luckily for you, readers, I am not the personification of Chernobyl. So I’ve developed a comprehensive, definitive list of what will not fix the current construction of the Pittsburgh Penguins:
- Trading everyone
- Daniel Sprong
- Marc-Andre Fleury
- Naming yourself after a fictional hockey playing child
- Acting like a spoiled, petulant child on Twitter
- Warping your reality to believe you know more about running hockey club than a bunch of humans that guided their squad to back-to-back Stanley Cups
- Losing sight of the fact that the Penguins won back-to-back Stanley Cups
Conversely, I’ve also put together a list of what will fix this team because why present problems without solutions, right?
- PCP
- Some actual puck luck going their way for a change
- Beating inferior opponents
- A team defense that doesn’t crumble every single time the other team has the puck
- A real third line center
- Turning back time to not play ~29,847,812 games since October 2015.
- Maybe Erik Karlsson and/or Connor McDavid or some shit
This isn’t to say there shouldn’t be some concern. The Penguins currently sit 2 points out of a playoff spot, having played 1-3 more games than all of the teams presently surrounding them. Their division is a war zone, with all 8 teams being separated by just 8 points. What’s more is they play 6 of their next 8 within their division, including 2 at home against Columbus. If there was ever a time to nut up or shut it, it starts on Thursday night.
For better or for worse, an awful lot can change over the course of the next 3 weeks. Any semblance of a winning streak potentially takes this team from purgatory to the top of the division. Any semblance of a losing streak takes them from purgatory to the draft lottery.
I, for one, will be putting a little bit of that zen shit in me and withholding any and all judgment until this stretch of the schedule plays out.
LINEUP
30 minutes until game time.#LetsGoPens pic.twitter.com/NPqEmIpvLM
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) December 19, 2017
Prior to the game, Hornqvist was sent home with an upper body injury, while Dominik Simon was deemed too sick to play. That meant that Archibald and The Kuhn were allowed to returned to the lineup, while Reaves and his 4 minutes per night stayed in as well.
FIRST PERIOD
Right off the hop, the first period was fun as all hell and possibly one of the most entertaining periods of hockey you’ll see this season. Neither side pulled any punches, trading off chances early and often. It was the Avs getting the cleanest of those chances 2 minutes in, but Murray got his toe out to rob Svenigans on the doorstep just two minutes into the game.
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It would take 3 more minutes and just 5:04 in total game time for the deadlock to be broken. Immediately after Malkin stepped into a blast from the high slot, the puck got blocked down and Nieto took off on the counterattack the other way. Comeau drove straight to the net, splitting Maatta and Ruhwedel and creating enough separation for Barrie to take the dropped pass from Nieto and wire a wrister past a totally screened Murray to open the scoring. Nothing 30 could do there without zapping Comeau with a ray gun. 1-0
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Two minutes later, it would be the Pens turn again on a yuge chance on the counter. Phil got himself cheating up ice after the Pens forced the turnover and Sheary wasted 0 time getting it up to him. Absolutely sickening reception of the pass from Phil, but Varlamov shut the wickets to turn him aside on the breakaway.
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While the Pens 4th line got caught on the ice on the first goal, they’d somewhat redeem themselves to negate the Avs lead. Weird game for them, too, as they hovered right around 70% in shot attempts and scoring chances at even strength. And with 9:21 left, they’d help tally the equalizer. There was a definitive trend all game long of Varlamov making saves, only to have the puck trickle behind him. The first came after Rowney won an offensive zone draw straight back to Ruhwedel to throw at the net. The puck defied all known physics, weaseling through Varly and rolling across the goal line. 1-1
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After killing a Pens PP midway through the period, the Avs looked and thought they too had broken through again as Compher buried a rebound, but it was immediately waved off for Indaghetto taking out Murray’s pad and keeping him from having a chance to make the save.
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It’d be the only period of the 3 where the Penguins had an edge in shots on goal (18-13), even strength shot attempts (24-14), and even strength scoring chances (10-8).
SECOND PERIOD
It would take the Pens just under 5 minutes to put themselves behind the 8ball and open a direct path for the Avs to go ahead again as Cole went off for cross checking Nieto. About a minute into the PP, the Avalanche loaded up with Andrighetto and Soderberg in Barrie’s shooting lane, giving Murray limited chance to see Barrie’s one-time blast coming in. 2-1
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Shortly after the goal, it was the Pens 4th line once again getting the puck in behind Varlamov. A gritty effort from Archibald drove him down the right wing to throw a shot from wide at Varly. Again, the puck had eyes and crept towards the goal line, but took a turn straight to the post and just stayed there. Lady Luck, man. She’s a cruel mistress.
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Both teams would trade off abbreviated powerplay opportunities midway through the period before Cole once again found himself in the sin bin, this time for holding Tyson Jost. The Avs got themselves a similar setup with bodies littered in the shooting lane through the slot, but instead of Barrie being the triggerman, he deferred to Rantanen this time around. Murr was up to the task to keep the Pens within striking distance.
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Then, with 1:40 left to play in the period, the eventual game winner came harder than a juggernut off a comedy of errors from the Pens. It seemed harmless- Maatta whipped the puck into the zone to get a line change. Crosby got bodied along the boards, coughing the puck up and allowing Andrighetto to catch the Pens on the slow change. Maatta, on his way to the bench, got his signals crossed with Letang and stayed on the ice, but at that point it was too late. He was already turnstiled and Dumoulin was outnumbered. Colorado still had a lot to do and, despite Murray making the initial save, he got more than his fair share of unluckiness as Maatta batted the puck away only to have Compher smack it home out of midair. 3-1
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At that point, if you’re Letang, you probably just need to take the puck from Svenigans and eat the too many men penalty. Can’t blame him for not doing that, though, Hindsight and whatnot.
All Avs in the second, though, smoking the Pens for 15 of the combined 21 shots on goal, going 22-10 in even strength shot attempts, and ravaging the Pens for 10 of the 13 total even strength scoring chances. You could argue the Pens were fortunate this game was only 3-1 going into the third.
THIRD PERIOD
And Fortune, thy name is EverGene. With Rantanen just getting out of the box on a carry-over holding penalty on Hagelin from the 2nd, the Pens were looking a little dangerous. Malkin was able to weave his way into the zone, getting a little help from a little not-so-subtle Hagelin interference at the blue line He drove the Avalanche penalty killers back enough to open up a passing lane to Cole coming in off the bench. His shot made it into the mass of bodies in front of the net before being swept away straight to Malkin lurking at the side of the cage to pull one back for the Birds. 3-2
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It quickly became the Matt Murray Show following the goal, truly giving the Penguins a chance to even the scoreline, making 9 saves in total in the 3rd.
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You knew the Penguins were going to get at least one more chance, but no one on this planet would’ve believe Ryan Reaves would have the puck on his stick with a chance to tie it up. Cannot rant and rave enough about how good Josh Archibald was and a microcosm of that was on a shift with just over 6 to play as he came from low to high to take a pass from Letang, put it between Compher’s legs, and open up to fire a shot at the net. Reaves and Rowney were mucking it up in front and the rebound came right to Reaves to get robbed by both Varly and the post. What even is this sport.
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That’d be all she wrote, though. With Murray out of the net for the extra skater, Babe Landeskog beat Ruhwedel to the puck to chop it out to MacKinnon, who dangled his dick right on Crosby and Cole to slip Rantanen for the gimme goal. 4-2
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Game.
NOTES
- The Pens 4th line may have been their best line of the night. Reaves ended up with a team high 4 scoring chances and 4 high danger shot attempts….in just 8:39 of even strength ice time. Far and away the best possession line of the game.
- Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin, Crosby got fucking buried last night. He was on the ice for 29 even strength shot attempts against and 16 for, bad for 35.56%. What’s worse is that 20 of the 29 went unblocked, while 8 of his 16 for went to the same tune. Crosby was also on the ice for just 5 scoring chances in his favor, while being out there for 16 against.
- To sum it up, Reaves had 1 less individual scoring chance for than Crosby was on the ice for. Reaves played 8:39 at even strength. Crosby played 19:07. Hockey is weird and stupid.
- Murr may have given up 3 goals (on 36 shots), but had it not been for his game, this one may have gotten ugly.
- That said, the Pens got at least 3 in behind Varlamov that just wouldn’t go to its home. What can you do?
The Pens get 2 days off to come back home for a 3 game home stand as the Jackets come to town twice with a game against Anaheim squeezed in between. Do it.
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