{"id":1098001,"date":"2020-05-20T21:28:25","date_gmt":"2020-05-21T02:28:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thesportsdaily.com\/?p=1098001"},"modified":"2020-05-20T21:28:26","modified_gmt":"2020-05-21T02:28:26","slug":"the-alternate-universe-diamondbacks-at-mets-5-20-20-m1d1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesportsdaily.com\/news\/the-alternate-universe-diamondbacks-at-mets-5-20-20-m1d1\/","title":{"rendered":"The Alternate Universe: Diamondbacks at Mets 5-20-20"},"content":{"rendered":"
We\u2019re all depressed about what\u2019s going on in the world regarding the COVID-19 outbreak, and baseball has become collateral damage. We all need to escape, and now you can read this blog in the alternate: the one where global pandemics were a myth and baseball was around no matter what. We\u2019re imagining the 2020 Mets season as if everything was normal. Enjoy these works of fiction<\/em>.<\/em><\/p>\n
Madison Bumgarner can eat a bag of dicks.<\/p>\n
(Look, the great Herman Melville was known for starting his novels in this same classic style. That’s how Moby Dick started: “My name is Ishmael, and Captain Ahab can eat a bag of dicks.”<\/em>. Look it up.)<\/p>\n
It’s amazing that in Bumgarner’s long and successful career that his staredown antics haven’t gotten anybody hurt. What isn’t amazing is that the first player to be hurt as a direct result of Bumgarner’s stupidity (other than himself with the dirt bike) would be a New York Met.<\/p>\n