{"id":249375,"date":"2007-10-10T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-10T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vip.local\/2007\/10\/10\/the-problem-with-lofa-tatupu\/"},"modified":"2007-10-10T04:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-10T04:00:00","slug":"the-problem-with-lofa-tatupu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesportsdaily.com\/news\/the-problem-with-lofa-tatupu\/","title":{"rendered":"The problem with Lofa Tatupu"},"content":{"rendered":"
Hey Hawk,<\/p>\n
Let’s just say – hypothetically speaking – that on some random weeknight, I just happened to be a little boozy and I got this random thought in my head that I just HAD to get off my chest. Would it be OK if I blogged about it?<\/p>\n
Thanks, Buddy!<\/p>\n
OK, if you’re a Seahawks<\/span> fan, you probably love Lofa<\/span> Tatupu<\/span> (or at least appreciate the USC<\/span> scum) for the way he plays the game. We Cougs<\/span>, have grown to revere the under-sized, mile-a-minute head-knockers in the middle of a defense. (Take your pick: Childs<\/span>, Gleason, Davis, et<\/span> al<\/span>…)<\/p>\n Lofa<\/span> waltzed into the NFL with a nasty case of small-man’s disease and immediately started making plays. It takes a lot for a rookie middle linebacker to make the Pro Bowl – probably in part because not many teams turn that position over to a rookie – he did it and is now working on his third Pro Bowl in a row to start his career. Dude’s a flat-out stud.<\/p>\n So here’s the problem with Lofa<\/span> Tatupu<\/span>. Okay, hold on. There are actually two problems with him if you count<\/span> the fact that every time I hear his name I think of Mrs. Smails<\/span> in the shower…”Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?”<\/p>\n But the REAL problem with Lofa<\/span> Tatupu<\/span> is that he has no facial hair. Seriously, there are kids on Mini McBoob’s<\/span> Tiny Mites team that look meaner than him. He needs some whiskers – and I mean more than just a 5 o’clock shadow.<\/p>\n With my superior graphic design skills I have taken it upon myself to offer up a few suggestions. Feel free to vote on your favorite and perhaps offer up some suggestions of your own.<\/p>\n Key 2: The Franco Harris<\/p>\n
1: The JJ<\/span> Putz<\/p>\n