While enjoying some fresh, delicious Internet delivered straight to my computer this morning, I ran across this video of every single goal scored in the 2014 World Cup. Checking in at just over 28 minutes long and highlighting events that are over a year old (GIVE US NEW THINGS, INTERNET), you may think there’s no way you’re going to watch that video or enjoy it.
Now, you may never watch it because 28 minutes in Internet time is longer than a geological period in real time, but if you do watch it, I can guarantee that you will very much enjoy it. Especially the parts where Greece and Mexico get scored on because those two are the worst and deserve to have 4.2 billion goals scored on them at all times.
During the time I was not delighting in the failures of Greece and Mexico, I started thinking about scoring montages, but far less lengthy scoring montages. That thought process eventually led me to what the title of this post suggests, every touchdown Houston Nutt’s Ole Miss team scored in the final three games of his career in Oxford.
As a quick refresher, with three games remaining in the season, Ole Miss finally elected to just give Nutt his millions of dollars and not let him coach the team again after 2011. Why Pete Boone decided to let him coach the final three games is another part of the long line of Pete Boone decisions that can be classified as “inexplicable”.
Here is Boone’s actual reasoning:
“I think the decision was made for a number of reasons. He has led this program and he recruited most of these athletes. He is the stabilizing influence. With three weeks left in the season it makes a lot of sense for Coach Nutt to finish out and lead this. That is how that decision was made.”
“I think” is just perfect. So, even though you made the decision, that’s your best guess? You know you had like two days to get ready to answer this question, right? You don’t have to make up answers on the spot at press conferences.
And let’s not ignore “he is the stabilizing influence”. Never in his life has Houston Nutt been called any version of the word “stable”.
Unless you meant “stabilizing influence in making sure we lose every single conference game”. Then, yes, that is a good assessment.
ANYWAY, things weren’t in a good place going into games against Louisiana Tech (in Oxford), LSU (in Oxford), and Mississippi State (in Starkville). With that in mind, here is the montage of every touchdown Houston Nutt’s offense scored in those three games.
Lasting all of about 39 seconds, which includes Brandon Bolden talking about the touchdown and Houston Nutt buzzing by the offensive line to offer some praise, that is the final cut of the touchdowns montage. Following that touchdown, Ole Miss would end the season with 173 minutes and 53 seconds of touchdown-deficient football.
If you’re curious, and I know you are if you’ve made it this far, Ole Miss scored nine offensive touchdowns during its entire eight-game conference schedule, which comes out to 1.125 per game. This, of course, begs the question IS THAT BAD?
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