Mississippi State and NC State are just hours away from the battle of the Belk where the winner will be showered with comfortable pants, casual shirts, and versatile pullovers for the remainder of their lives. It promises to be…wait, what? No pants or any clothing? Just a trophy?
Well, that makes sense, but I don’t like it. Is the trophy at least a bronzed pair of pants? No? So we’re talking about a standard trophy then? Hmmm. We need to talk to someone in marketing about that.
Anyhow, as for the actual game, we could be in for a moderately successful scoring affair due to both offenses being competent (MSU 24th in S&P+ and NC State 28th), while both defenses lag behind the offensive skills (MSU 41st and NC State 34th). Or maybe both offensive lines will be awful and no one will score. WHO KNOWS.
Since I can’t really get a handle on what to expect here, let’s turn to Belk’s panel of experts, the assortment of sensible pants you can find right here, to see what scores they predict will happen today.
Take it away, fellas.
Louis Raphael Anton Modern Tailored Fit Pants
39-0
IZOD Corduroy Pants
18-49
Savane Big & Tall Chino Pleated Straight Wrinkle-Free Pants
45-0
Vintage 1946 Signature Military Twill Trim Fit Pants
99-50
Savane Striated Herringbone Non-Iron Comfort Waist Pants
43-20
Dockers Comfort Khaki Relaxed Fit Pants
36-99
Champion Men’s Powertrain Pants
27-0
Greg Norman Collection Classic-Fit Plaid Pants
55-30
Haggar Premium Non-Iron Straight-Fit Flat-Front Pants
42-0
Saddlebred Straight Fit Single Pleat with Cuff Comfort Waist Pants
31-0
Polo Sport Fleece Pants
49-25
Saddlebred Straight Fit Flat Front Perfect Pants
23-20
Polo Ralph Lauren Classic-Fit Stretch-Corduroy Newport Pants
41-29
Quite the range of scores there, guys. One thing is for certain, the real winner here will be me when all of the Belk-related ads start popping up on my computer after I gave their website 75 page views in 20 minutes.
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