The Week That Were: 9.5.09

Jeff asked me to do a “wrap up of the week’s games”. So, you can blame him for this:

“May you live in interesting times”
– Purported Chinese Curse

The problem with the first week of the season is that it’s hard to gauge how good your team is, given that most of the games are really glorified scrimmages against significantly lesser opponents. They’re supposed to be blowouts, and are typically tune ups for the season (note that I said typically).

There are a few teams, though, that choose to “strap it up” and actually play a team of higher caliber. While rare, those games are the ones that made this week “interesting” for those of us who were as interested in watching ANY football as we were cheering on our favorite squadron.

But first, let’s recap the winners of this weeks “Sprinkles” award. ‘Cause there are a lot of them:

  • St. Tebow and the Gators cleaned house against Charleston Southern (is there a Charleston Northern?)
  • State Penn began their rigorous non conference schedule by pounding Akron. An internet pundit remarked that the Lion’s schedule is “softer than Joe Pa’s diet”. Not nice, but funny nonetheless.
  • Tennessee pounded Western Kentucky and managed not to violate any NCAA rules in the process. That, in and of itself, is a good thing.
  • U$C scheduled San Jose State for one reason: It was cheaper to pay a team for a game that it would lose than it might be to pay a RB to help them win.
  • Indiana beat Eastern Kentucky for what may be their only win.
  • The ‘Huskers played host the the Fighting Owls of FAU. Not a good host, as Nebraska rolled to it’s 24th straight opening win.
  • Really, Arkansas? Missouri State? Was The Calumet City Orphanage busy?

I’ve got to be honest that I don’t know what to do with Ntre Ame and MACh1gAAn here. They should be in this category, since they scheduled a couple of patsies in Nevada and Western Michigan. But given that they both are *cough* rebuilding, it could have gone either way. At any rate, congrats to Charlie and Rich for keeping their internships/jobs for one more week. In fact, now that TTUN has won against a MAC team, they lose that part of their moniker. However, even if they beat Delaware State later in the year, the 1AA label sticks. It’s still funny.

Oh, and how long is it until some team creates an unofficial bounty for QB Robinson’s shoes? I can see a defensive coach challenging his players to bring one to the sidelines.

Opening week gets “interesting” though, for teams who end up in dogfights with opponants that they should have found ways to defeat easily.

  • tOSU started off well against a very good Navy squad, but saw the option and a couple of big plays bring them to the brink of an upset. If you’re here, you’ve already read all the recaps and seen the great “plays of the week“.
  • Iowa needed two miraculous FG blocks in the final seconds to hold of Northern Iowa.
  • Minnesota squared off against the lowly Orange of Syracuse, and needed an INT by Duke’s point guard to pull off the overtime win.
  • If only Duke had kept Paulus, they may have beaten Richmond.
  • Les Miles’ team traveled a ton of miles and three timezones to face off against a Husky team that didn’t win at all in 2008. They needed a strong fourth quarter to do so.
  • KState squeaked by Massachusetts, who haven’t had a decent football team since that Revere guy was around (who says I can’t do edgy political humor?).

And then there are the big boys- the teams who took the opportunity to actually play football and schedule a worthy opponent. These were the games worth watching, especially:

  • Oregon’s dismantling at the hands of Boise State. Yeah, the whole “sportsmanship weekend? I guess that’s out the window. Although, the Bronco is going to have to live the rest of his life with the fact that he got dropped by one punch on national television. As some have said, with the Duck’s uniforms and the Smurf Turf, violence is understandable. Unfortunately, this also means that we’ll have to hear about the Broncos in the “National Title Hunt” for the rest of the year. Maybe I can get Blount to come over and just punch me instead… Here’s an idea- let’s talk about how Oregon was (as usual) overrated at the beginning of the season?
  • The Fighting T Boone Pickens’ and their 40 year old friends welcomed a good Georgia team into Stillwater and “The Reason Gas Is Over $3 A Gallon” stadium, and proved that their top ten ranking is legit. With Oklahoma’s “situation”, it’s quite possible that their game against Texas may be for the right to play Florida in the MNCG.
  • Ah, Chokelahoma. Good on you for scheduling a solid BYU. But why didn’t you prep your backup to run your offense? Or to know how to read the freaking play clock? Since this was at the Jerrydome, there’s no way you could have missed it… It’s more than likely 500 feet tall and covered in cotton candy. So- I’m guessing Bradford won’t challenge St. Archie’s legacy for back-to-back statues.
  • The “Arch Rivalry” doesn’t seem like much of a Rivalry, as Zook’s QB once again shows his inability to win a big ball game.
  • Alabama and VaTech- now there’s a game worth watching… And the Tide picked up where they left off (well, except for that choking against Utah thing), and proved that the Great Saban is indeed building a dynasty in the South. And you can write that one in the books.
  • Vandy handled Western Carolina (there’s a West Carolina? Crap, I should have paid more attention in Geography)

Small schools:

  • Taylor held onto the wheel, and beat Anderson consecutively for the first time in the matchup.
  • Concord needed Overtime to hold off LeAnne Rymes 52 to 45. The Cougars amassed 617 yards of offense in the OT victory.
  • Salibury’s Sea Gulls held off the PACE Setters 34-14. Consider yourself better informed.

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In other news, this week I get the pleasure of “living the game” in a real way, since I seem to be the only Ohio State fan within ten miles of my place of residence. So, my other exciting job this week is to bring you insight from “behind enemy lines” as it were.

Here’s the first update- My daughter was wearing her “Go Buckeyes” shirt on Saturday, and a grown man took time to tell her that they were “goin’ down !!!1!1!”. She’s two, and seemed to have a significantly better grasp of the English language than he did.

Ah, SoCal sports fans… Stay classy.

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