As the Manti Te’o story continues to straighten out of the Griswold Christmas lights knot it worked itself into, we should probably go ahead and clear the air on some things that don’t exist in the SEC. This will help reduce confusion, shock, dismay, and a Twitter gridlock when these things come to a more public light. Some of these include, but are not limted to:
1. Ole Miss’ 2003 SEC Western Division championship
2. Dan Mullen’s championships
3. Todd Grantham laughter
4. Family of squirrels under Les Miles’ hat
5. LSU’s quarterbacks coach and offensive coordinator
6. Florida’s wide receivers
7. Doug Nussmeier
8. Hugh Freeze retweet robot
9. Steve Spurrier three-putt
10. “Great decision, Tyler Bray”
11. Bert Bielema
12. People who care about Kentucky football
13. One South Carolina starting quarterback
14. Bowl appearances by Missouri while in the SEC
15. Will Muschamp gaze of fondness
16. Vacant NCAA satellite office at Auburn
17. Matching sternum tattoos for AJ McCarron and his ladyfriend
18. Nick Saban and THREE Little Debbie cakes
19. Moderation
20. Johnny Manziel being boring
21. Lack of conspiracy theories
22. Poor people
23. Nick Saban wink
25. Enough money
On a more serious note (BORING), read this by the great @celebrityhottub. It’s a good reminder of what a terrible idea it is to label someone as one thing or another. In case you forgot, we’re all MILDLY COMPLICATED and have many more flaws, big and small, than everyone assumes we do.
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