Dear Mr. Wilson,
Congratulations on your decision to fire Mr. Jauron.
I am really not quite sure what took so long, but we are nonetheless impressed with your bravery. It takes a great deal of courage to admit your mistakes and dismiss a coach midway through the season. You are a trailblazer and a contrarian. For that I applaud your efforts.
I have been told by ESPN that your esteemed franchise is now considering Kevin Gilbride for employment as the next head coach of the Buffalo Bills. Say it ain’t so! Don’t go breakin’ my heart, now. First it was Steve Spagnuolo being signed away to the Rams. If you take away our Offensive Coordinator there will be nothing left from our Super Bowl win. Yes, Ralph, Mr. Gilbride is a nugget all right!
As Offensive Coordinator for the NY Giants, Mr. Gilbride is 31-15. This man is a winner! Pay no attention to those nattering nabobs of negativity who will want to confuse the issue- Gilbride is the goods.
Gilbride is an innovator and a free-thinking man! Why just last week vs San Diego, it wasn’t his fault the Giants lost. He drove that team all the way down to the red zone, rang the register for 3 points and had a 6 point lead till the last possession.
Gilbride was extra-special-crafty, choosing not to run a single play action at all against the Chargers- he had the defense so confused, because they knew the Giants had to call that playaction sometime in the game, yet it never happened. Genius! Pure Genius!
Another example of his strategem, vs Pittsburgh last season he went 5 trips into the red zone pure vanilla and sucked Pittsburgh into his trap so badly that he had a wide open Boss in the end zone for the playaction winner on his sixth trip! Inspiring brilliance- who would ever think to hold back on 5 trips in a row except him! He is so good at this bluffing game that I am going to raise the $10K entry fee to stake him next summer at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas.
Speaking about bluffs, Gilbride is a magician. We are constantly amazed at his slight of hand with the TE. Why, we can go for 30-45 (and sometimes even 60) minutes of the game before we even know that that wide body is even playing! It takes special skills to make someone 6’7″ and 270 lbs disappear. Imagine the stealth of using invisible players!
Kevin Gilbride is a tactician who is a master of intra-game and intra-season adjustments. Versus the Eagles he knew their defense would be expecting a change come the playoffs, so he kept the game plan the same to confuse them. Those Field Goals were poppin’ like corn on a hot skillet.
In summary, please accept this letter of recommendation for Mr. Gilbride as wholly qualified to be the coach of the Buffalo Bills. Your franchise and Kevin Gilbride are a perfect fit.
Sincerely,
UltimateNYG
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