If Not For Being A Thursday In The Middle of May, This Would Not Be Interesting

<![CDATA[Yesterday, while considering Ole Miss football scores to use as a donation amount for EDSBS’ money-raising efforts to help people in need of help (STAY AWAY, HOUSTON NUTT), I ran face first into the list of scores from the Ole Miss/Alabama football series.  And yes, series, not rivalry.

Wikipedia incorrectly labels it as a rivalry because one needs to have a better record than 8-51-2 against an opponent to have it called a rivalry (and that’s with vacated and forfeited wins thanks to NCAA sanctions against Alabama; ROLL TIDE).  If you’re an Ole Miss fan, it is a difficult page to look at, though it makes you wonder why we don’t play Alabama in Greenville every year, as we’re 1-0 there thanks to a dominating 16-0 win in 1910.

I eventually settled on the 19-14 score of the 1993 game because $19.14 is wildly generous and it’s a game that Alabama won, then later forfeited, which for a long time seemed like the only way Ole Miss would ever beat Alabama again.  Thankfully, Mike DuBose would eventually come to power and Eli Manning came to Ole Miss, earning us 25% of our total wins against Alabama.

As I looked through the scores, I wondered which Ole Miss coach was the most awful against Alabama.  Now, all of them were awful, but which one(s) truly deserves recognition as the worst coach against the Crimson Tide.

Through completely unscientific research, I didn’t really answer that question, though my personal bias will answer it, but I was reminded that the coach many consider the worst coach in Ole Miss history was actually the most competitive against Alabama.  THE RESULTS:

Due to laziness and something something something about different eras, I decided to only go back as far as Billy Brewer.  Dog Brewer took over in 1983 and was miraculously spared playing Alabama during the ’84-’87 seasons, so he was both lucky in that and in being allowed to survive one stint on NCAA probation so he could then lead the program to another stint six years later that would finally get him fired.

Billy Brewer (1-4 against Alabama)
Average point difference:  18.2
Record of Alabama teams:  49-12-1 (.790)

Tommy Tuberville (0-4)
Average point difference:  15.75
Record of Alabama teams:  29-18 (.617)

Thanks for saving those wins over THE TAHD for when you got to Auburn, Coach.

David Cutcliffe (2-6)
Average point difference:  13.67
Record of Alabama teams:  40-34 (.540)

Once lost to a 3-8 Mike DuBose, repeat, MIKE DUBOSE TEAM by a score of 45-7.

Ed Orgeron (0-3)
Average point difference:  3 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Record of Alabama teams:  23-15 (.605)

Ed Orgeron, a man who went 10-25 in three seasons, lost three games to Alabama, each by three points.  Granted, these were not Nick Saban-era teams, but this is Ed Orgeron we’re talking about, a coach who went 3-21 in conference games.

And the results of those three Alabama games went like this:

-Alabama kicks last-second field goal to win
-Alabama scores touchdown in overtime to win
-Alabama blessed by the replay god Doyle Jackson, who prevented Ole Miss from having a chance to win or tie in the last few seconds.  Though, to be fair, given Ed Orgeron’s luck and lack of skill at Ole Miss, there was a zero percent chance something good was going to come out of whatever he decided to do, if given that opportunity by Jackson instead of it being RURNT.

Houston Nutt (0-4)
Average point difference:  20.25
Record of Alabama teams:  48-6 (.889)

HELLO, NICK SABAN ERA.  The 52-7 loss in Nutt’s last year sort of blew that point difference number apart.

Hugh Freeze (0-2)
Average point difference:  22
Record of Alabama teams:  24-3 (.889)

As previously mentioned, there is no point to all of this, other than to suck up time on a Thursday and to point out that Ed Orgeron may have been a terrible head coach, but inexplicably, he caused great degrees of wailing and gnashing of teeth among Alabama fans, which, as an Ole Miss fan, is from where I draw my enjoyment in this otherwise unenjoyable series.

Also, David Cutcliffe wins the title of Worst Ole Miss Coach Against Alabama.  Coaching against a murderer’s row of mediocre and bad teams, he still managed to lose by nearly two touchdowns every time he took a team out against Alabama.

 ]]>