Bud Kilmer, Jon Voight’s character in the required-to-watch-when-it’s-on-TV Varsity Blues, was pretty much the high school version of Nic Saban. Successful, brutally demanding of players, and recognized as one of the great coaches in his profession. Hell, there was even a statue of Kilmer right by the field, just as Saban has at Alabama.
As far as I can tell, the only difference between the two is that Kilmer never cut anyone because they were hurt. He just got the ‘ol trainer to take a look at the injury, then shoot the player up with some pain killers. And no one gave a second thought to any of this because we’re talking about the WEST CANAAN COYOTES HERE.
To be fair to Kilmer, Saban would probably do this too if there weren’t so many eyes on the program and he could get away with it. But cutting players for medical reasons is a little less offensive in the area of public relations, so he chooses his method over Kilmer’s.
The point of all of this, assuming there actually is one, is that if Saban was in charge of the West Canaan Coyotes when they were gunning for yet another district title, what….hold on. First, let’s address one of the major flaws in Varsity Blues. How can a movie about high school football not mention anything about going to state? And, more importantly, how can that movie not make winning a state title the goal of the season?
Who cares about winning a district title unless it means going to state? That’s like celebrating an AFC South title. It’s also how you could always tell who the high schools with inferiority complexes were. If they prominently displayed a banner or a board with “District Champs” on it, you prayed they didn’t win because they would be INSUFFERABLE FOR YEARS about that.
Anyway, bringing this thing back around, what would happen if Saban was trying to motivate the West Canaan Coyotes and quarterback James Van Der Beek right before the big district championship game? I think it would have gone something like this:
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