Remembering 3-2

On Saturday, Auburn and Mississippi State play what you might call a “game of significance holy smokes is all of this really happening for real”. It will look nothing like the 3-2 game played in Starkville in 2008 because both teams are filled with competent players and coaches, and it seems unlikely the Mississippi State band will spell “Croom” at halftime.

So why spend time talking about a miserable game that is six years old instead of a game that is swimming in SEC West and playoff implications? An excellent question with a simple answer: BECAUSE 3-2 IS WAY MORE FUN.

But to please the twos and threes of you who would rather talk this year’s game, if State forces Nick Marshall to throw 30 times or more, they win. If Auburn forces Dak Prescott to throw 30 times or more, they win. If they both throw 30 times or more, OH NO, I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.

Anyway, 3-2 is not happening again. Maybe. WE CAN ALL DARE TO DREAM THOUGH.

Well then. So, back to wherever this was going before things came undone here.

I did something similar a week or two ago concerning the 1999 Ole Miss/Memphis game, which was the worst game I ever attended. Basically, I wanted to get into the meaty parts of the horribleness of that game and show the world what a miserable three and a half hours I spent in the Liberty Bowl.

Though I was not at the 2008 Auburn/Mississippi State game, I did watch it from the sports bar of a casino on the island of St. Kitts in the Caribbean, remaining so very proud I did not wager money on Auburn. And it was difficult because the place where they took your money for betting was directly next to the bar, but I pressed on without losing money.

Even in such an environment, it was a brutal three hours and sixteen minutes. LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE SADNESS.

Total Offense
Auburn: 315 on 71 plays (4.44 yards /play)
Mississippi State: 116 on 55 plays (2.1 yards/play)

Quarterbacks
Chris Todd (Auburn): 14 of 26 (53.8%), 154 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT
Wesley Carroll (MSU): 10 of 25 (40%), 78 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT (only one!)

Fumbles
Auburn: 3 (lost 3)
Mississippi State: 1 (lost 0)

3rd Down Conversions
Auburn: 3 of 16 (18.8%)
Mississippi State: 0 of 14 (0%; INCREDIBLE)

Punts
Auburn: 8
Mississippi State: 10

Field Goals
Auburn: 1 of 3
Mississippi State: 0 of 1

Now let’s get into the highly enjoyable part. BEHOLD, the drive charts of two counterfeit offenses.

Auburn
3 plays, 9 yards, PUNT
7 plays, 31 yards, PUNT
7 plays, 9 yards, PUNT (how is that even possible)
4 plays, 9 yards, PUNT
8 plays, 39 yards, FIELD GOAL (the end of offensive points for the game came with 7:38 to play in the FIRST HALF)
5 plays, 11 yards, PUNT
6 plays, 47 yards, MISSED FIELD GOAL
Fumbles opening kickoff of the second half
3 plays, 7 yards, PUNT
8 plays, 58 yards, MISSED FIELD GOAL
6 plays, 3 yards, PUNT (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE AS WELL)
3 plays, -13 yards, PUNT
2 plays, -3 yards, SAFETY
2 plays, 6 yards, FUMBLE
3 plays, 14 yards, FUMBLE
6 plays, 37 yards, END OF GAME

Mississippi State
3 plays, 3 yards, PUNT
5 plays, 22 yards, PUNT
4 plays, 12 yards, PUNT
3 plays, 3 yards, PUNT
3 plays, -4 yards, PUNT
3 plays, 9 yards, PUNT
4 plays, 6 yards, PUNT (ALL THE PUNTS)
1 play, -1 yard, END OF HALF
5 plays, 11 yards, MISSED FIELD GOAL
4 plays, 9 yards, TURNOVER ON DOWNS
3 plays, 4 yards, PUNT
5 plays, 20 yards, PUNT
4 plays, 18 yards, PUNT (MOAR PUNTS)
4 plays, 9 yards, TURNOVER ON DOWNS
4 plays, -5 yards, TURNOVER ON DOWNS (BOOO, NO PUNTS)
1 play, 0 yards, INTERCEPTION

HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY. WHAT A GAME.

Even more amazing is that Mississippi State started three drives in Auburn territory and one at midfield, all of which yielded zero points. Those four drives combined for 17 plays, 24 yards, and one missed field goal and three turnovers on downs.

It was a game that marked the beginning of the end for the coaches of both teams. Auburn went on to lose seven of its next nine games on its way to a 5-7 record, which eventually lead to Tommy Tuberville being replaced by Gene Chizik. Mississippi State would claw its way to a 4-8 record, winning TWO conference games, but would fire Sylvester Croom at the end of the year.

Though you will probably never happen again, at least in this series, we shall never forget you, 3-2 game. You are the wind beneath the wings of all horrible, yet awesome games.