Somewhere In an Alternate Giants Galaxy

Overheard, somewhere in an alternate NY Giants Galaxy, VERY FAR AWAY from the Meadowlands…

UnMcMeathead: Eli, thanks for coming into my office.

Eli: No problem. What’s up?

UMM: Now that we are mathematically eliminated from making the playoffs, in the interests of the franchise we’d like to see more of the younger players.

Eli: That seems reasonable. How can I help?

UMM: Well, we know what we have with Geno Smith. Specifically we’d like to see more of Davis Webb.

Eli: Well, if you weren’t a McMeathead, you’d already be dressing him during games, and have him swapped with Geno during practice. This way, Webb would get some practice snaps with the starters and he could fill in for me if needed.

UMM: That’s great. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that. I’ve been a McMeathead a lot, so this kind of sh*t happens.

Eli: No problem.

UMM: Eli, you are the franchise. I have been a total loser as a head coach. Not once have you thrown me under the bus for being buried inside the playcalling and not making any significant changes to our woeful offense from last year. Not once have you thrown GM Jerry Reese under the bus for not protecting you up front with that garbage OL. Not once have you thrown your WRs under the bus for having the league-leading largest drop percentage in the NFL. What is important to you down the stretch these last 5 games in this pit of misery?

Eli: It’s really important that I fight to win each week. That streak of starts is me answering the bell for my team, every week. Not many people remember in 2007, during our Super Bowl XLII year, when I had a separated shoulder and the Doctors said I’d be out for at least 2 weeks. I couldn’t throw on Wednesday but I played Sunday.

UNM: So how do we keep you fighting and also get snaps for Webb?

Eli: Let me start and try to win the game. If we are down by 14 points in Q4 bring in Davis to get him snaps.

UMM: That sounds like a plan. We appreciate everything you are and everything you do for this organization. Thanks for your continued support.