Taking place every Thursday (ALLEGEDLY), I take a look at each game, make a few BOLDHOTTAKE predictions, then declare on which side of the point spread I will place myself. The twist this year is that I’m going to pretend that $4 million of Houston Nutt’s lump sum buyout from Ole Miss, which totaled $4.35 million, was given to me by Nutt for the purposes of “exciting investment opportunities” (Nutt is keeping the last $350k for expansion of the Cotton Bowl wing of his New Mexico home).
For each game, I’ll wager $25,000 because that seems like a wildly reckless bet, yet one Houston would be okay with, and we’ll see how much money I add to his empire, or how much I lose and force him to become the running backs coach at New Mexico (he’ll probably do this anyway).
OFF WE GO.
Last week: 3-5
Season: 16-10
Money earned: $150,000
Houston Nutt’s fortune: $4,150,000
Last week was but a mere bump in the road, much like losing to Jacksonville State to open the 2010 season was for Houston.
Tennessee at Georgia (-17)
Prediction(s): Despite playing behind an offensive line that can generously be described as “hey, we’re taking on water, like a lot of water…THE SHIP IS GOING DOWN, CAPTAIN”, Justin Worley has managed to be both not bad and all major limbs still attached. Probably has something to do with playing only one real threat in Oklahoma, but success and survivability behind a bad offensive line shouldn’t be downplayed.
Unfortunately for Tennessee, the bill for replacing an entire offensive line is due at some point (though avoiding creditors seems like one of East Tennessee’s finest skills), and this week will probably be one of many weeks in the near future where payment is expected. Godspeed to Justin Worley, and there’s no shame in getting into earthquake drill position.
Bet: Georgia to cover
Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-17)
Prediction(s): The game Jefferson Pilot was born to televise (finishing just ahead of Ole Miss/Vanderbilt). Though Jefferson Pilot has moved on to the four-camera, standard definition, salvage center-production value Elysian Fields, Dave Neal and Andre Ware have not, and will be calling this game as the good Lord intended.
We can expect to see a great deal of effort here, followed by not a great deal of success, particularly on the Vanderbilt side of things. Patton Robinette, one of many who has played quarterback for Vanderbilt, may not play due to a concussion, which means things will be in the hands of some combination of Wade Freebeck, Stephen Rivers, and Johnny McCrary.
This group has combined for 30 of 75 (40%) passing, with 1 TD and 7 INTs. I do not expect even average things from them. BUT, I do expect great things from Andre Ware’s transition lenses.
Bet: Vanderbilt and the points (THROW OUT LOGIC WHEN THESE TWO GET TOGETHER)
Arkansas at Texas A&M (-9) (at Double J City)
Prediction(s): Bert looking good on the jumbotron, Double J backslapping fellow good ol’ boys, Bert looking annoyed on the jumbotron, Texas A&M passing and passing and passing, Bert yelling on the jumbotron, Arkansas plodding and plodding and plodding, Bert looking good again on the jumbotron, Arkansas showing that this A&M defense remains bad, Bert waving his arms on the jumbotron, A&M showing Arkansas still doesn’t defense.
Bet: Arkansas and the points
Louisiana Tech at Auburn (-32)
Prediction(s): Gus in a form-fitting sweater vest. SWEATER VEST FASHION GAME DON’T TAKE A BREAK, SON.
Bet: Auburn to cover
Missouri at South Carolina (-6)
Prediction(s): If South Carolina were to lose this, Spurrier’s postgame press conference would certainly top last week’s in terms of bitterness, sarcasm, another coach being replaced (“I’m gon’ take over the defensive line from now on”), and looking at the stat sheet with a look of stunned disgust. As much fun as that would be for the rest of us, a team conquered by Indiana stands in the way of making that happen.
Bet: South Carolina to cover
Memphis at Ole Miss (-21)
Prediction(s): Memphis players and coaches would like everyone to believe that this game is not their Super Bowl, as Hugh Freeze said it was last week. Those Memphis players and coaches are exceptionally full of it, but what would one expect them to say when asked that question.
However, Memphis fans have no problem with identifying this game as the biggest of the season. It’s so big that even Memphis’ “basketball-only” crowd has shown interest in this game, mostly because Memphis is not the raging tire dump fire that it has been since Tommy West was paid to go away.
Since those basketball-only folks aren’t all that familiar with Memphis football, I’m here to offer an explanation. Watching Memphis football is like watching a 2nd-round NCAA Tournament game, only the devastation happens 10 times over three months.
Bet: Ole Miss to cover
New Mexico State at LSU (-43)
Prediction(s): One day, God will smile on the world and give us Houston Nutt, head coach of New Mexico State.
Bet: LSU to cover
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