Baseball season started today even though it also started last week when games were played in Australia. I suppose it also started last night, but whatever, apparently today is labeled the official Opening Day of baseball.
The good news is that if you missed the starting games in Australia, last night, and today, you have seven more months in which to watch some games. According to Major League Baseball’s calendar, the World Series is scheduled to start on October 22nd, which means the season could bleed into November, known by everyone as the best month for baseball due to all the cold weather and rain.
To give you an idea of how long baseball season lasts (58.3% of a calendar year), here is a list of things that will occur before baseball records its last out in 30-degree weather, as it was intended to do:
-The ends of the months of March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October
-The starts of spring, summer, and fall
-The ends of spring and summer
-Easter, Arbor Day, Cinco de Mayo, Mother’s Day, Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Father’s Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Yom Kippur, Columbus Day, Halloween, possibly the end of Daylight Savings Time, and a million state holidays and observance days (like Bennington Battle Day in Vermont)
-At least three weddings you do not want to go to (BUT YOU WILL GO TO ALL OF THEM)
-The opening and closing of fireworks stands in every empty gravel parking lot in your community
-The end of the NHL and NBA seasons
-SEC Coaches Meeting in Destin
-Four full days of SEC Media Days in Destin
-You taking at least one trip to the Redneck Riviera
-At least one quote from BERT that adds further evidence to the issue of slower pace of play arguments not needing to come from him anymore
-At least seven game opportunities for Will Muschamp to remind everyone that Jeremy Foley made a terrible decision last December
-Nick Saban handing out as many medical hardships as he can find
-At least three more Georgia football players being arrested
-That one person you know wishing for cold weather to get here (he or she should immediately be transported to February 2014 and locked there forever)
-Over 2,000 PAAAAWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLS
-A very dumb interview with Houston Nutt
-First and second printings of Dak Prescott for Heisman materials
-Steve Spurrier winning $137 off members of Augusta National after a game of Wolf
-Mark Stoops replacing his “Mark Stoops” name tag with a “Hello, my name is Mark” name tag
-August practice reports that do nothing but build crippling anxiety
-Three oil changes for Hugh Freeze’s bass boat
-Students getting out for summer and the sweet lack of traffic that follows
-Students going back to school and the dark pit of traffic hell that returns
-Les Miles allowing his team to vote on whether or not to suspend at least one good player
-Summer billboard wars
-At least eight game opportunities for the Texas A&M defense to put out the sewage processing plant fire that currently engulfs it
-Missouri scheming to take back the crown of meth capital of the United States
-Tennessee playing defense to retain the crown of meth capital of the United States
-Butch Jones keeping that top button tightly buttoned on all Tennessee shirts
-Bruce Pearl being allowed to recruit again
-Three months of opportunities for Auburn to accept a transfer who has been kicked out of another SEC school and will eventually lead them to their next SEC title
-Vanderbilt begging people to buy season tickets
-People not buying Vanderbilt season tickets
-The rise and fall of humidity
-An exhibition baseball game that has a direct effect on the most important series of the sport, despite both exhibition teams being filled with players who will not play in the most important series
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