Make no mistake about it, Vegas Vacation is a terrible, terrible movie. Just terrible. It’s 99% unfunny and sullies the good name of the three previous Vacation movies. But, one quote from the movie always sticks out in my mind whenever I witness a savage beating in the world of sport. Clark has just hemorrhaged money at the blackjack table, fuming at his losses, and Cousin Eddie keenly observes, “I haven’t seen a beatin’ like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.”
Alabama’s defense, with over a month of preparation for the few offensive plays that worked for LSU in the previous meeting, unhinged its jaw and swallowed LSU whole. They turned Jordan Jefferson into a complete panicked mess, caused LSU’s play-calling to become the David Lee/Houston Nutt Special (also known as the “random play” feature on NCAA ’12), and eventually had LSU fans chanting “Jarr-ett Lee! Jarr-ett Lee! Jarr-ett Lee!” DURING THE GAME.
It was a performance that reminded you of the stories of college football from the 1930s when teams gave up seven points over the course of an entire season. And watching LSU try to counter the defensive moves was both laughable and sad. Speed option. FAILURE. Wide receiver screen. FAILURE. Roll-out pass. FAILURE. More speed option. DOUBLE FAILURE.
It was like LSU assumed what worked last time would work again, with no thought to what they should do if things didn’t work. And when there was no “what next” list on the play sheet, it was only a matter of time until Alabama’s offense kicked enough field goals to put the game out of reach of an offense that would only cross midfield once (before being sent back across midfield at the end of the possession).
One gentleman who was especially disgusted with whatever it was LSU was trying to do on offense was Bobby Hebert, who apparently has keys to all the rooms in the Superdome, and he wanted some answers from Les Miles, but wanted answers without really asking a question.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hpKW6AlaJJw?rel=0
And that’s how bad it was last night for LSU. A night that began with a 13-0 team one win away from a perfect season and the school’s third national championship in less than 10 years, ended with Bobby Hebert, noted local PLEASE STOP guy, berating their head coach in full public view.
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