A group of college football writers and a foundation associated with football or something or other has decided to give the land what it has desperately sought over these past few years in the form of another college football poll. The poll will be known as the Grantland Rice Super 16 because when in doubt, name something after a famous person instead of creating a name that will certainly be ridiculed, mostly because it will be created by people who possess no ability to do it well.
Why does this poll now exist, you might ask? The press release mentions something about "a fun reference point for fans to follow during the college football season."
But that is press release talk, which is always made up of none-of-this-is-true-well-maybe-the-first-sentence talk. The main reason is that these writers and ex-coaches, administrators, and players have a need to DON'T FORGET US WE ARE IMPORTANT EVEN THOUGH WE'VE BEEN CUT OUT OF THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SELECTION PROCESS, BUT MAYBE WE CAN STILL HAVE SOME INFLUENCE WITH THIS POLL.
So if the poll is unnecessary, who then is excited about its appearance? Let's turn to the only thing that could identify just who these people are and rank their excitement, ANOTHER POLL.
1. Football Writers Association of America
1. National Football Foundation (split title)
3. BIG POLL
4. The Illuminati
5. Message board warriors
6. Finebaum
6. Finebaum callers
8. Serious Twitter users
9. BIG DEBATE
10. Jimmy Sexton
11. BIG #HOTSPORTSTAKES
12. Haters
12. Grinders
14. Coaches marching towards a 4-8 season the year after being ranked in the Grantland Rice Super 16
15. Your local sports radio affiliate
16. Troy, the guy you know who specializes in surface-level, 90-second sports-related conversations that are based on the five minutes of ESPN he watched earlier
17. Facebook novelists
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