First, I hope your bracket and everything in it are on fire right now. The point guard for my champion, North Carolina (you and your Kentucky pick can go straight to hell), decided Sunday was as good of a time as any to break his wrist and wreck any chance I had of winning. So now I wish for chaos and Kentucky to lose in a way that causes all of its fans to pop an eyeball out of a socket.
And second, getting to the point of this, the quarterback situations in the SEC as most teams move into the spring practice portion of the offseason. By my calculations, which are neither scientific or in any way remotely responsible, the following teams shouldn’t have any questions at the QB spot when the fall rolls around:
- Georgia
- Arkansas
- Alabama
- South Carolina
- LSU (assuming Zach Mettenberger doesn’t turn into Georgia Zach Mettenberger)
- Vanderbilt
- Missouri (though the latest news on James Franklin, not Todd Grantham’s nemesis, though it would be awesome if Todd Grantham was at war with TWO James Franklins, could change that if things don’t heal properly)
- Tennessee
And these teams are teetering on the edge of quarterback dumpster fire territory:
- Florida
- Auburn
- Ole Miss
- Mississippi State (I cannot be convinced Dan Mullen is sold on Tyler Russell)
- Texas A&M
- Kentucky (I just assume so given their offense last year was eventually run by a wide receiver)
The first clue your team could be playing multiple quarterbacks, and not because of special packages, but because THEY ALL STINK AND WE’RE JUST TRYING TO FIND THE MOST LUKEWARM HAND, is that your offensive coordinator is exceptionally vague on who is the favorite as spring practice begins. Let’s say he says something like this, as Scot Loeffler, Auburn’s offensive coordinator, said:
“We’re not going to worry about who’s No. 1, 2 and 3 this spring. What we’re going to do, essentially, is learn the system and improve every day. The fall will be here quick enough to name our quarterback.”
FEEL THE CONFIDENCE IN THAT GROUP. The good news for teams in this situation is that they’ll get to play other teams in this situation and everyone can have a good cry together.
And the second clue in today’s lesson is that maybe your team does have a favorite to win the starting job, but your coach isn’t opposed to having ALL THE QUARTERBACKS. Like, say, 25% of your spring roster is made up of quarterbacks, yet your coach has no problem bringing in another transfer quarterback.
This is the classic throw everything against wall and hope something sticks tactic, which is great if you don’t mind your house smelling like sewage and convincing yourself that whatever is clinging to the wall doesn’t look that bad.
For those of us in either of these two groups (or both), I look forward to sharing the journey of disbelief, wailing and gnashing of teeth, and LET’S TRY THE FOURTH GUY ON THE DEPTH CHART this season.
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