Wild Speculation On The Arrests Of Two Ole Miss Football Players

There’s an old Internet adage that says, “When news breaks, you should immediately assume it is all true and probably even worse than what is being reported, so let’s all speculate on events of which we know very few details, and while we’re at it, assume that the speculation is as good as fact”. Since this is the Internet, we shall DO JUST THAT.

Last night, shortly after bar-closing time in Oxford, Trae Elston and Damore’ea Stringfellow, of Ole Miss football fame, were arrested by Oxford police for disorderly conduct. This comes just a few weeks after Chad “REBAL” Kelly was arrested for terrorizing the streets of Buffalo, New York on an assortment of charges, one of which was disorderly conduct, so everyone should go ahead and make sweeping judgments and connections about two separate cases in locations about 1,000 miles apart.

As for last night’s incident, if you’ve ever lived in Oxford, you know that the Oxford Police Department keeps a vigilant eye out for conduct that might be disorderly, as well as anything else, no matter how small or large, that might give them a chance to let you know THE LAW IS IN CHARGE AROUND HERE, BOY (or MISSY). I realize that is a sweeping judgment of an entire police department, which isn’t fair, but that’s the way many people feel about it (and the evidence to dispute it isn’t easy to find).

So when someone gets arrested in Oxford for disorderly conduct, it could be from a number of actions. Anything from street fightin’ in the alley by The Library to not moving fast enough when an officer says move along. There’s nothing that can’t be jammed into the disorderly conduct category.

With that in mind, let’s take a few moments of wild speculation (AS IF THERE IS ANY OTHER ENJOYABLE KIND) on what Elston and Stringellow did to get hauled off to the Lafayette County Detention Center on such a charge. Some theories for submission:

• Refused to hand over identification, then looked at the officer with a “shunning face”, which was later followed by a “crazy face”

AND THAT’S IT. CASE CLOSED.

Ole Miss fans will always remember Enrique Davis as a player who crashed into his own offensive linemen with great success (other than that one long run at Alabama that made you see why Houston Nutt loved him so much). However, he should be remembered as a player who crashed into his own offensive linemen with great success AND a player who helped the Oxford Police Department set the bar for really dumb reasons to arrest someone for disorderly conduct.