RECAP 50: Yellow Ferrari. Bruins Top Pens 3-1 feat. The Toxic Avenger

RECAP 50: Yellow Ferrari. Bruins Top Pens 3-1 feat. The Toxic Avenger

Penguins

RECAP 50: Yellow Ferrari. Bruins Top Pens 3-1 feat. The Toxic Avenger

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Lucky number 50 and the second of a back-to-back vs. the Bruins. Last one of the year against them too.  I’m going to miss the Rat King, but methinks we’ll be seeing a lot more of that hilarious little bastard this postseason.

You may have heard, but the Penguins are winning every which way imaginable, including a statement 1-0 victory earlier this week.

Nice title on “Termination” by Geoff in that Recap.  Made me think of the most underrated Terminator.  Obviously 1 and 2 are in a class of their own, but 3 was pretty intense.  Plus, any movie where you get to see Kristanna Loken in her birthday suit automatically deserves an Oscar.

This is a kids show, so those are only PG13.  Google it if you’re that horny, sicko.

Where were we?  Oh yeah, Bruins Recap.  Legend Mike Lange in the booth.  Block the wind – I’m gonna roast this bone.

1ST PERIOD

Pens to the power play before I took my first bite of chicken parm. First unit was buzzing.  Amazing what some movement can do – they are feeling it.  No blood though.

Jeff Carter sent us to the first break after he fired a frickin’ laser beam on Rask, who barely got a piece of it.

Jarry shut down Pasta on the doorstep for the Bruins’ first truly scary chance of the game.  Pens were finally scrambling a bit, but Taylor Hall’s big lips let them off the hook with a too-much-man penalty.  Back to the Peep, where Rust had the best chance on a semi-break, but was shut down.

Not much else to say for the rest of the period – two good hockey teams trading some chances and playing a fun brand of scoreless hockey.  Some nerds online said Tang/Dumo got pummeled, but I didn’t think it was that bad.  Analytics are fake news.

Also, Steve Mears pointed out that there was “4:20” left in the period for seemingly no reason, which explains a lot.

2ND PERIOD

Little slower start to the period as both teams fumble fucked the puck on the breakout.

Miller slashed Zucker on his way to the net, so the Pens would go to a third power play which felt like a must-convert, considering Tim Peel would even them up eventually.

McCann was all alone in the slot but Rask said No.  Rest was killed.

10 minutes of up and down hockey ensued.  You felt like it was probably gonna be a 1-0 game again.

Eventually, Lauzon took a run at E-Rod along the boards.  Rod basically tapped him on the shoulder in retaliation, and that was all the refs needed to give the Bruins their first PP chance.  You can cry, or you can act like you’ve played sports before and accept the way things are.  Killed.

A minute or so later, Krejci would break the tie by putting my Father on a poster.  Just an elite move.  How does he only have 7 goals?

BOS GOAL – Krejci (7) A: McAvoy, Rask [18:10] 1-0 BOS

I forgive you, Dad.

Forecast showed a 90% chance of more good hockey in the 3rd, and a 1000% chance of Tuuka Rask looking like an alien using Harry Styles’s body as a host before he takes over the village in some horror movie.

3RD PERIOD

Pens poured on a bunch of chances through the first 5 minutes but couldn’t break Alien Styles.  Bergeron hit a post.

Blueger randomly fought Lauzon and got his lunch fed to him.

I say credit to him, takes balls.  Trying to find a spark.  If you listened closely, you could hear Twitter whining and throwing it’s glass of soy milk at the TV in an unathletic fashion.

The wimps got their wish as the Bruins scored next about 3-4 minutes later off a great play by the perfection line.  That’s just Going to the Net 101.  Rat King.

BOS GOAL – Marchand (26) A: Pasta, Lazar [9:11] 2-0 PIT

Ceci and Tang looking like a couple of hyenas trying to impregnate a football.

Not long after, Taylor Hall’s big teeth would put the game away.

BOS GOAL – Hall (6) A: Reilly, Krejci [12:18] 3-0 BOS

Not often you see the Crosby line getting undressed like this.  I know you don’t come to Gooey Caps for analytics, but Danny Data pretty much confirming what we all can see.

That’s twice now I’ve shouted out Danny’s intelligent work, so credit to Jeff Carter for keeping him humble by further confirming his anti-Carter stance as terrible.

PIT GOAL – Carter (11) A: Kapanen, Letang [17:39] 3-1 BOS

Pens pulled the goalie for the last 2 minutes, but it was over.  Ballgame.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:

  • If any team will test the PDO Playoff model, it’ll be the Bruins.  They are not a deep team, but their goaltending, shot blocking, and top line can consistently win them games.  Nobody wants to skin a cat that way, but it can be done.
  • Probably time to try Sid’s line away from Bergeron.  Obvious is obvious.
  • Convert even one of those PPs early in the game and you probably get at least a point.  That was the difference.
  • No big deal either way.  Playoff spot will be locked up by the time you’re dealing with the hangover on Sunday.
  • Chirps on Twitter @GooeyHockey
  • Featured Image Credit: Joe Sargent/Getty Images

Both teams probably class of the East.  A couple of Yellow Ferrari’s.

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