Buffalo Blowout

At least for one day, the Mets put a beatdown on somebody in much the way that Joe Pesci beat Don Rickles with the telephone in Casino.

Of course, the 18-5 blowout win which needlessly inflated the Mets’ runs per game average came courtesy of Carlos Beltran and nine players who played for Buffalo this season (yes, I’m counting Angel Pagan’s three game rehab stint.)  Hell, even Joaquin Arias drove in a run.  I was wondering if I had missed some sort of harmonic convergence, star alignment, or if the Mets beat guys had missed a whole elaborate sign stealing plan from Wrigley’s scoreboard.  (Would fit nicely into that whole “Cubs are jinxed” romanticism if the visitors had signs relayed in their own park.)

I wonder if those 18 runs would have been a Bison record …

Speaking of things that have to be some sort of record, 10 of the 18 runs came from batting slots eight and nine.  And poor Ruben Tejada.  He drives in five runs, hits a home run, and he thought he had done enough to get a pie in the face from Pagan as he was looking around during his post game interview.  Instead, there was no pie to be found.  It was like the guy in the Avis commercial expecting all the Yankee fans to do the roll call chant except they’re looking at him like he’s crazy.  (Wicked cold.)  But it really wasn’t anything like that.  There was no whipped cream to smack on Ruben’s face probably because Chris Carter sprays all of it directly into his mouth as part of his pre-game routine in which he does 8,000 push-ups, does 5,000 bench presses of four hundred pounds each, and sacrifices three virgins in the outfield all in a span of two hours.  (He only does this for road games, I’m told.)

Now it’s on to Washington where Johan Santana will miss his next start because Nyjer Morgan bowled over him after running straight from Pittsburgh to Chicago of his strained pectoral muscle.  Santana hopes to make his next start against the University of Michigan at Port St. Lucie, where Mets officials will measure his effectiveness on 139 days rest.