It’s not that it’s gone from the sublime to the ridiculous, because nothing with the Mets is ever sublime anymore. But the Pedro Feliciano bru-ha-ha has gotten all kinds of crazy up in this, as the kids say, biznitch (which is latin for “Shake Shack”). Now, Feliciano himself has chimed in on Lefty Abuse. And his feelings are hurt because Dan Warthen said they released him in part because of the workload. Aww …
“I didn’t sign with them because they offered me one year. Me and my agent, we want two or more years, and they just gave me one. That’s why I’m not a Met right now. That’s not right that he said that’s why they let me go. I read that and it hurts because I like Dan, he’s one of my good pitching coaches. He’s saying they didn’t want to sign me because I’d blow out this year. That hurts.”
Okay. If that’s true, then the Mets haven’t gotten as smart as we thought. Because the best thing for the club going forward was to thank Perpetrual Pedro for letting the Mets abuse him his efforts, take the draft pick, and move on. Perhaps the offer was merely a token, but a risk at the expense of the future, no? There’s no use in having Pedro Feliciano on a rebuilding team, right? Especially if they thought he was going to “blow out”.
Put back to the original point, which is: poor baby.
“I will show him in the Subway Series when I strike out Ike Davis and I jump on the mound, ‘That’s for you.'”
Ike Davis? What did Ike Davis do to anybody except be born lefthanded? Davis was merely playing with his G.I. Joes on the lawn, and he gets caught in the crossfire? Great. Feliciano vs. Davis is now going to be the next Estes vs. Clemens, and Davis didn’t even do anything. Except that he now has to everything he can to not strike out against Feliciano, even if he has to bunt. Because if Pedro jumps, the terrorists win. And everyone will rejoice because Pedro did what he was supposed to do and then he will celebrate for the world to see and be the next true Yankee as Derek Jeter giggles in the dugout.
Kornheiser: So Wilbon Pedro Feliciano, your boy, struck out Ike Davis and jumped off the mound. Does this make him a true Yankee?
Wilbon: Tony, Pedro Feliciano had to prove that he had the moxie to show up an opponent on the grand stage, and he’s done that. I think he’ll be more respected in the clubhouse now and I can’t wait to see the Yankeeography.
Kornheiser: Build a statue!
But heaven forbid Jose Reyes jumps. The newspapers will have a field day, Larry Andersen will put a hit out on him, and the talk shows. Oh, the talk shows:
Kornheiser: So Wilbon Jose Reyes, your boy, jumped during a game after a base hit. Is Reyes the most selfish player of all time?
Wilbon: I don’t know. Jumping isn’t really a big deal. But Jose Reyes needs to understand that he’s a Met and that showing up the Yankees by jumping isn’t really a good idea.
Kornheiser: He should be traded tomorrow.
Wilbon: Oh stop overreacting you typical New Yorker.
Kornheiser: Forget that, shoot Jose Reyes on sight. It’s happy time, people!
Please, Ike. Make contact.
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