Bounce

The bounce can be defined in one of two ways. First, there’s the bounce back that the Mets are experiencing after losing three straight to the Astros and four overall by beating the Diamondbacks twice in two weekend games. The top guns in the rotation got it done with Johan Santana on Saturday, and R.A. Dickey on Sunday with eight innings of shutout baseball. He wanted nine, but couldn’t get a batter out in the ninth (of course after Gary Cohen had mentioned that no Mets started had gotten a batter out in the ninth all season … dammit.) Maybe that’s why R.A. was so pissed that he threw the resin bag down after giving up his first run in the ninth on two hits. (But hey, if you knew you were turning it over to that bullpen, you’d be pissed too. Thankfully, it worked out.)

Or, you can define the bounce as the bounce that Ruben Tejada’s special parts took off first base after his quad gave out running to first base. Ouch, and ouch. At least this was an in-game injury and not suffered shagging flies, jumping on trampolines, or carrying boxes up a flight of stairs. But let this be a lesson to you kids out there: Always wear your cup. Tejada might hit the DL because of this which would take a .300 hitter out of the lineup. Luckily, the Mets have more where he came from. But his defense, which has been surprisingly angst free for the most part except for a certain pop-up which shall remain harmless, woul be missed. Thankfully, Jordany Valdespin has a little experience at shortstop and will probably take over unless Ronny Cedeno can rush back. And how sad is your life when the next couple of weeks will be spent pining over the early return of Ronny Cedeno as if you were on line for Bieber tickets.

Luckily the rest of the division is having mental issues. Larry Jones is threatening to kick Jamie Moyer’s ancient ass, and Cole Hamels is drilling teenagers on purpose. Everybody has become unhinged, and maybe they’ll all kill each other. That scenario can only benefit the Mets. What will definitely benefit the Mets in a small way is the suspension that Hamels will get for admitting that he drilled Harper. As you know, Hamels is the arbiter of the way major leaguers should act … has been ever since he was a mere lad of 23 when he was telling us how veterans should act. Now he’s teaching us that rookies should be hit with pitches because that’s the way they did it in the 50’s. Pretty boy wants to be the new Drysdale, but Drysdale never appeared in an ad for condominiums wearing a white tuxedo. (He also never wished for a season to end while playing in the World Series.) So stop it. And enjoy your suspension, dirtbag.

And to hell with Bryce Harper too. Because he’s going to hit 55 home runs against the Mets in his career if he doesn’t do it during a weekend series in May. So let’s get that out of the way now. Because the moment I praise Harper for stealing home against Hamels, he’s going to turn into the next great Mets Supervillain. So eat it, Harper.

But good on Jordan Zimmermann for throwing back at Hamels. Not at the Phillies’ best player in their lineup, not at their rookie … he threw at the prick who did the deed. That’s how it should’ve been done with Matt Cain (not because he hit David Wright by accident, but for that cap tip nonsense … when will the Mets ever learn?)