Beaten By The Redcoats on the 4th of July

Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and the Mets bullpen to cause you to regret watching baseball and vomit the hot dogs and the apple pie. Happy Birthday, America.

The fourth of July was pretty much a carbon copy of the middle game of the Yankees series. Chris Young cruised for six innings, then was victimized by the long ball in the seventh to cause him to lose the lead. This time, it was Chase Utley and Carlos Ruiz that went back to back to give the Phillies a 3-2 lead. We can have conversations all day about whether it was the right thing to do to keep Young in for the seventh (as evidenced by the numbers against him after pitch number 50.) But first off, even with the seventh inning, he still pitched seven innings and gave up three runs. Gave the Mets a chance to win the game which is really all you can ask of Young after 39 arm surgeries.

And second, would you rather have Young pitch the seventh, or anybody from that Mets bullpen? Answer: I’ll take Chris Young three days after one of his major surgeries than anybody from that bullpen.

In fact, here’s a complete list of people I’d rather have pitch than a Mets reliever (in order):

• Brandon League
• Chris Young
• Chris Young with a head cold
• Chris Young with his left arm
• Chris Young after becoming a zombie
• Ricky Bones
• Mark Mallory
• Jim Palmer
• Khloe Kardashian
• The iPhone voice
• Your cat
• Chris Schwinden

Don’t laugh, Schwinden is available again.

Now I know that Terry Collins has an impossible job. I know there are factors that he sees that we don’t. But can somebody explain to me why Jon Rauch’s assignment is to mop up an 11-1 victory, yet Miguel Batista gets to choose which wire to cut to diffuse the bomb? If there’s one thing we learned this season it is that Batista is more MacGruber than MacGyver. Rauch, for his issues and his seven losses, has a 1.13 WHIP and has only walked six batters while they have a .238 average against him. Similar hitters are batting .274 against Batista, and he’s walked 23 hitters in 38.2 innings. Under his WHIP, it just says LMAO. (I don’t know what that means. I’m too old for internet lingo.)

So why the fascination with Batista in late inning situations? And why does every manager, every general manager, every everybody has to have one “veteran influence” guy who gets way more opportunities to decide games than they have every right to get? Omar Minaya/Willie Randolph had Julio Franco. Jerry Manuel had Fernando Tatis. The Sandy Alderson/Terry Collins combo should have meant those days were over. But they are fascinated with Miguel Batista, and I have no idea why. D.J. Carrasco and Manny Acosta were sent to limbo for similar crimes. Jeremy Hefner, who got bombed today in mop-up duty, was sent back to the Bison after today’s performance. Even Rauch seems to be in the purgatory section of the bullpen. But Batista, who faced one batter and gave up a hit before being pulled because he couldn’t even be trusted to face Cliff Lee (not Carlos Lee … Cliff Lee), gets to stay where he is. Why? I mean, what’s worse: getting bombed in garbage time or not being allowed to face a pitcher after one batter?

By the way, this is killing me that Cliff Lee got his first win against the Mets. Not because I hate Cliff Lee. I have no feelings for Lee other than the jersey he wears. But because you know I wanted the Phillies completely demoralized this series. Cliff Lee winning his first game of the season along with the hitters getting contagious against the Mets bullpen gave the Phillies too good a feeling here … more than just a normal win. They’re comfortable and that’s exactly what I didn’t want. R.A. Dickey should put an end to this nonsense tomorrow but still … I wanted the Phillies to get nothing. Zilch. Zero. Instead, we get a little brat fan who was probably no older than six years old chanting “Let’s Go Phillies” at the top of his or her octave … but of course, not until after they took the lead. Typical Phillies fan lessons from Phillies fan dad. It’s okay to be a sore winner but stay quiet when you’re behind. I wanted that kid to go home crying his eyes out wondering why life isn’t fair. Instead, that’ll be me.

And speaking of Carlos Lee, his reward for rejecting a trade to the first place Dodgers was getting traded to the Marlins, who he wasn’t able to reject a trade to. The Marlins, clearly desperate, traded their top prospect Matt Dominguez for him which means he’ll be in the American League where he can’t hurt the Mets … much. Meanwhile the Marlins advantage in this trade is that they have somebody to eat a higher percentage of the post game spread which will hopefully slim down Heath Bell and keep him from blowing every single game he pitches in.

Great career move, Carlos. Enjoy Skittles Park.