The left, or logical part of my brain is telling me that teams that can’t get more than two hits in six innings off of a guy who hasn’t played major league baseball in two years don’t deserve to win and probably don’t deserve to contend.
The right, or creative part of my brain, is checking google maps to find the most remote part of the United States and figuring out a way to blindfold CB Bucknor, drive him to these coordinates, and leave him there. Then release wolves. Wolves that haven’t eaten in three days.
Both sides of my brain agree that they’re pissed off after Sunday’s debacle. They just can’t figure out which one is more right than the other. So it’s constant conflict. It’s why the clock reads 3:37 AM and I can’t sleep. Can’t figure out if the Mets lost because of Ben Sheets’ first start since the Reagan administration, or because Bucknor is rotten at his job, or because Johan Santana couldn’t over come Bucknor being rotten at his job.
Answer: all of the above.
“I am so pissed off right now” -Eric Cartman
You know who else is pissed off? Manny Acosta. Why? Because when he sucks at his job, he gets sent to pitch in places like Lehigh Valley, Pawtucket, and Gwinnett. But when CB Bucknor is rotten at his job by, say, calling a 2-2 pitch to Paul Janish a ball when it was clearly a strike, and granting time out to Michael Bourn as Johan Santana was starting his windup, he gets to remain right where he is. He gets to ignore Dan Warthen after he throws him out of the game for rightfully telling Bucknor that he should bend over and watch the game with his good eye. He gets to arrogantly wave away Johan Santana like he wasn’t who the fans came to see. And he gets to eat steak dinners in large cities after the game instead of buying sacks of cheeseburgers at a White Castle drive-thru in Monroe, MI.
“These are the times that try men’s souls” -Thomas Paine
The times that Paine is referring to has to be the second half of the season. Because it’s been trying my soul every year for three years. Whether it’s a 3-12 stretch between July 7th and July 25th of 2010, or a 5-17 stretch between July 30th and August 23rd of 2011, or even a 7-17 stretch between June 26th and July 24th of 2009, they have all tried my soul in one way or another. This is only three games, but they were all f*cking brutal enough to make me wonder whether this team has suckered me again into thinking that this was going to be different. Well, we’ll probably find out for sure after the upcoming Nationals series, where Davey Johnson has set up his rotation to line up two lefties against them. I guess it’s a sign of respect. It’s also a sign that the Mets’ weaknesses are as obvious as CB Bucknor’s terrible umpiring.
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