Stop Humanizing The Phillies

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Ding Dong, The Doc Is Dead. Or at least … his streak of wins against the Mets which dated back to July 16th, 2001 when Roy Halladay was outdueled by (are you sitting down?) Steve Trachsel is dead. (A game, by the way, which brought Trachsel’s record to a robust 3-10 … way to go!) The Mets trounced a wild and velocity challenged Halladay in a 7-2 victory which not only featured another great outing by Matt Harvey (seven innings, three hits, two walks, nine strikeouts) and another home run by John Buck, but despite Halladay’s previous success against the Mets was a win that most fans saw coming a mile away. Hell, I was even halfway confident that the Mets would take Doc behind the woodshed, and when have you known me to be confident that the Mets were going to beat the Phillies? Things were so bad for Halladay that Lucas Duda, of all people, got a solid swing and hit a frozen rope up the middle against him.

So now even though I have no personal beef with Halladay as I have with certain other Phillies pitchers, this is obviously the time for me, and Met fans around the world, to dance on Doc’s grave as the 36-year-old’s streak against the Mets has been put to bed emphatically, right?

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Damn you Martino! Why must you remind me that baseball players are human beings with families and adorable children and such! Especially while they wear Phillies uniforms! Nooooooo, you gotta remind us about your precious perspective. Why can’t you let me have my fun at his expense? Instead you have to go and get me choked up. This is not the time to be choked up and sympathetic towards adorable children of enemy pitchers! First you go and fool us into thinking about where we are in this world with your ethnic tensions, then you put that 80’s “awwwwwwwww” soundtrack in my head when all I want to do is play Bachman Turner Overdrive on my iPod! I’ll get you for this, Martino … if it’s the last thing I do in life!!!

Some might take Monday’s win as a symbol of revenge for all those Doc Halladay victories … dominant victories … at the Mets’ expense. You know what the best revenge would be? The Phillies not beating Matt Harvey for the next five years. Or ten. The current victory streak stands at two. (And it should have been three except for that home run that Ryan Howard hit off Josh Edgin that still hasn’t landed yet.)

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