I think this team might be making me physically ill.
When the Mets were going on their win/loss back/forth dynamic, it seemed to be threatening to spin off into either a winning streak to put them in contention, or a losing streak to knock them out. Now we know that it’s the latter as the Mets dropped a 6-1 decision to the Rockies which was chock full of bad managing, terrible execution, and fans chanting “Let’s Go Mets” as if “Mets” was a two syllable word. None of these things are acceptable.
Curtis Granderson popping out on a 3-1 pitch in the second with the bases loaded and two outs in a 1-1 game was the first sign we were going to get more of the same slop in this one. Steven Matz did his best to get out of jam after jam after jam … it was like watching Jeurys Familia, except every inning instead of just one. But Terry Collins didn’t do his pitcher any favors. In the sixth, having seen Walt Weiss do the smart thing in walking pinch hitter in Yoenis Cespedes just a day earlier with second and third, did the dumb thing by pitching to Nick Hundley … 8th hitter with the pitcher on deck … in the same situation. Hundley drove in the go ahead run with a single instead of making the pitcher bat with the bases loaded. Now the alternate situation might have brought some new fangled hell, but at least we could have blamed the baseball gods instead of Terry, who is carving out a nice slice of blame for himself lately.
Then in the eighth down 3-1, the Mets got the first two men on. Instead of getting excited, fans and media everywhere were wondering how the Mets were going to screw this up. And they found a new and interesting twist as not only did Scott Oberg come in and retire the Mets 1-2-3, he did it on three pitches. THREE PITCHES!!! That, my friends, is rock bottom. That, is coming in the nursery for a 3AM feeding and putting a crying baby to sleep in five seconds with formula. And he did this two days in a row.
Antonio Bastardo then came in and gave up an absolute laser shot to Carlos Gonzalez for a three run home run in the ninth which put it away. It’s worth it to point out that Bastardo is signed for next season at $6.625 million. I hope you weren’t eating when you read that. But don’t worry, he’ll finish out that contract because heaven forbid horrible players get cut or sent down in this organization. Everything is fine, nothing to see here. Hey, this is cause for a party in Met-land as Collins’ big solution is to blast Bon Jovi in the clubhouse and dance the night away after a 6-1 loss where their big threat was ended in three freakin’ pitches. SURE! That’ll fix everything, and we’ll get to hear Gelbs ask a million questions about mindset. We’re in hell anyway, so let’s barbecue!!!
And now our lonely eyes turn to our general manager to fix this mess with a big trade, except that it’s becoming increasingly clear that a trade might not even be worth it. But don’t worry, because you should at least know that somebody associated with this organization is trying their best to come up with a solution.
Okay @Brewers, Lucroy for d'Arnaud and we'll throw in Steve Gelbs.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hey @BlueJays, can we have Josh Donaldson? We have some cans of cheese dip in return.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hey @whitesox if I can get the groundscrew to come up with a spare lawnmower, can we get Todd Frazier and Chris Sale?
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hi @Athletics, what would you say to Josh Reddick for one of the cats that live under our stands?
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hi @RaysBaseball, the turkeys in this picture, would you consider trading Evan Longoria to the Mets for 2 of them? https://t.co/YwMxt2Bopr
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hi @Angels. How many Keith Burgers will it take to send us Yunel Escobar? Name your price. Guacamole included.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hi @Reds. We're interested in Jay Bruce. We have some extra framed photos of Al Leiter to offer in exchange. Call me.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hello, @Mariners. Would you trade us Robinson Cano for a couple of orange seats from Shea Stadium? We'll throw in Antonio Bastardo.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Hi @Indians. I'm trying to facilitate a trade to help the Mets. I'd settle for a pair of sunglasses or something. Being a GM is hard.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) July 30, 2016
Still waiting for a response, but I think I wound up trading Tim Byrdak in principle for some ice cream and those sunglasses. Being a GM is really hard. But I don’t see you trying anything. What’s your big idea?
Today’s Hate List
- Terry Collins
- Antonio Bastardo
- Scott Oberg
- Mark Reynolds
- Teams who won’t trade with me
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