With a thousand apologies to Dr Seuss (and rhyme schemes and verb tenses everywhere)
Some fans down in Edmonton like the Oilers a lot
But the rest, who apparently aren’t “real fans” do not
Those fans ‘hate’ their team and the whole gosh darn season
Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason
It could be that Chiarelli isn’t doing things right
It could be, perhaps, that their skates are too tight
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May be that the fanbase truly misses Taylor Hall.
Whatever the reason, it’s been quite a puzzle
Fans stood there Christmas Eve-Eve, mad at Kris Russell
Glaring down from their seats reserved for tier 1 fans
At the confusion reverberating throughout the stands,
For every fan of the Oilers has a different opinion
On just what it is that’s made this season a big one.
It could be Milan who brought back some swagger
Though when playing with Connor, he’s a bit of a lagger.
It could also be Larsson, a supposed stalwart on D,
Though lately he’s had the absolute worst Corsi.
Maybe it’s Kassian, not afraid to do battle
But sometimes he just looks like he’s rattled.
Perhaps it’s the Monster, the backup in net
It can’t be, though, because he’s not very good yet.
Maybe it’s Benning, playing hard and with grit
It’s too bad he can’t seem to finish a hit.
Baby Nuge has had some great games thus far
But if he doesn’t start scoring, he won’t be first star.
I’d say it was Pouliot, but I know that’s not true
He takes one dumb penalty per game, sometimes two.
Puljujarvi, the rook, has been well underused
Here’s hoping more minutes will keep him enthused.
Eberle’s been coasting, especially on the backcheck
He should probably learn to skate backwards breakneck.
There’s a new Taylor in town, Beck is his name
He’s good, but can’y possibly produce the same.
Poor Tyler Pitlick – it seems his luck has run out
He’s really tough, though, and he’s not going to pout.
Matt Hendricks is out there, trying his best
But he’s struggling to keep up with the rest.
Gryba’s back from the IR and that’s fine
He’s big and he’s strong and adds depth to the line.
Klefbom has been better, now that he’s healed
He’s guarding the blueline like a knight with a shield.
Drake Caggiula’s a rookie, but a little bit older
Which is probably why he plays a bit bolder.
The Shinpad Assassin has been a bright spot
He just needs to hit the net with his shot.
BDavy is back from injury just in time
He adds a little bit of calm to the blueline
If it wasn’t for Talbot the Oilers would be last
But a couple bad games and they’ll get there fast.
Another bright spot has been Leon Draisaitl
If he was a rookie, he’d sure win the title.
Big Pat Maroon’s been having quite a year
And last week in St Louis he brought us to tears.
On the power play Letestu is second to none
Who knew he’d be on unit number one?
Of course the light of our lives is young Connor
Watching him play is truly an honour;
His speed is incredible and his talent sublime
He’s always the best player, on any given line.
We’re lucky that Connor is an Oiler for life
Lest we be subject to another decade of strife.
Tonight’s tilt in San Jose will be quite a test
The Oilers and Sharks are the best in the West
With Vlasic and Couture and Pavelski and Jones,
The Sharks have the depth to make opponents groan.
With Jumbo and Marleau and Burnsy on fire
This game will probably go down to the wire.
The Oilers will win in a shootout, four-three
Giving away a point to a divisional enemy.
The Oilers will enter the Christmas break up by one
But that should be comforting news to no one.
The Pacific is tight and every point matters
A January slump will have them in tatters.
‘This year will be different’ the fans have been saying
As long as the Oilers keep playing and playing.
This year has been different, their record is better
I have yet to see someone toss an Oilers sweater.
So to all you ‘fans’ who complain and talk smack
This year the Oilers will take the league back.
Merry Christmas to all of you, from us at the Rig
We hope that your hearts are three sizes too big.
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