Baghdad Terry

You know what I’m doing right now? I’m sucking down a Labatt Blue tall boy and eating Wheat Thins. While I do this, I wonder two things:

1. How can I find a way to be compensated by Labatt’s and Wheat Thins for this free advertising they’re getting, and …
2. Why the hell do I root for this baseball team?

All you really need to know about Friday, May 16th, 2014 is this: It started with Terry Collins playing Bobby Abreu over Juan Lagares. It ended with Jayson Werth robbing Daniel Murphy of a game tying home run. If that isn’t Mets … if that doesn’t color this day in the boldest shades of orange and blue, then I’d had to find the day that tops this one in the category of “Mets”. If that day exists, then just take higher ground because it’s all over.

On Lagares, I pretty much went over all of this yesterday, but the new layers are such: once again Bobby Abreu gets the start in the outfield over Lagares (and Chris Young). We live in a world where in the span of five days, Juan Lagares gets a start, and Grandpa gets two. The best was the reasoning for the latest fire-able offense:

Lagares will play tomorrow, at least. Collins’ reasoning tonight is that he is more concerned about offense than defense right now. #Mets

— Anthony DiComo (@AnthonyDiComo) May 16, 2014

First off, thanks for the bone you’re throwing us, Terry. Really appreciated. Not that we could trust you anyway because you told us that Juan Lagares would play every day, Lucas Duda would play every day, and Collin Cowgill would play every day. You also told us that Dan Bylsma was fired, Community was getting picked up for another year, and that we’d have flying cars by now.

Second, more concerned about offense??? JUAN LAGARES IS HITTING .296!!! If he’s in a slump, what’s Chris Young in? Hell? (Oh wait, that’s me.)

Neither side of the coin is valid. If Lagares isn’t in the game because he doesn’t give the Mets the best chance to win, that’s idiotic. If complaining about Lagares is overkill because he can’t mask the rest of the flaws of this lineup, that’s a more valid statement. But it’s also all the more reason to play him because who gives a rat’s ass anyway? Everybody loses this argument … including me because I’m sitting here drowning my sorrows in Labatt’s and Wheat Thins without getting a royalty check. I never thought I would make this comparison, but this is some Jerry Manuel nonsense you’re pulling, Terry. In fact … is Jerry behind you? Does he have a gun to your back? Are you being forced to kill the President? Oh my God, he went to Shake Shack today!!! That burger is undercooked!!! TALK TO ME TERRY!!!! BLINK TWICE IF YOU’RE JERRY MANUEL’S HOSTAGE!!!!!!!

The game? You know how bad it was? A fan came out of the stands and scored half as many runs as the Mets did tonight. Hey, remember this:

[mlbvideo id=”6913417″ width=”400″ height=”224″ /]

So do I. In fact, I’m in the video. Front row, right above Elijah Dukes. Daniel Murphy getting robbed by Werth to seal Friday’s loss was the exact same thing … except with less joy by the guy making the catch. Even though I wasn’t in the front row for this one, it doesn’t prevent me from feeling like Jayson Werth looks.

[mlbvideo id=”32920461″ width=”400″ height=”224″ /]