Bashed

Saturday was my first day at Citi Field for the 2017 season. I don’t mean to get overly romantic or rah-rah about it, but circumstances in my life are starting to make me appreciate the outings a whole lot more. So for me, just being at a ballgame made it a good day overall.

Of course, there were plenty of reasons that Saturday was annoying. Not the least of which was the Mets’ play on the field. Jacob deGrom was spotty. He had ten strikeouts and looked dominant at times, but he had a tough fifth inning and was pulled in the sixth after the Mets were put in a 3-0 hole. (The humidity was causing havoc with his hair, so there was that.) But the Mets barely got anything going off Gio Gonzalez (wouldn’t be the first time), only getting themselves two hits in the entire game in a 3-1 loss which dropped the Mets to 8-10 with Max Scherzer looming on Sunday night. Without Yoenis Cespedes, this lineup is exponentially easier to navigate.

Also, the weather. All damn week, stupid weather reports telling us that Saturday was going to be the better weather day this weekend. But then Mother Nature figured out that I was going to a ballgame, so much like Terry Collins moved up Matt Harvey, She moved up the rain for the day that I would be outside most of it. Thanks, though I don’t remember deserving this fate by messing with you, you spicy harlot. (The good news was that the rain kept a lot of fans from getting on line early for Matt Harvey Garden Gnomes, so you won’t hear me complain about that this year since I got one … though 15,000 is still way too little for a giveaway. Also, did you know that Blue Jays plan holders can pay an extra $100 and get all of the giveaways automatically? I know that paying ceases the term “giveaway” from being accurate, but you get them. And you don’t have to go to all the games and wait on line for 45 minutes in the rain! I know, I’m being ridiculous.)

But I do want to give some new food reviews for Citi Field. First off, we were very disappointed that the Pressed stand by Josh Capon, which featured short rib grilled cheese sandwiches, was gone and replaced by a generic pastrami stand. Capon’s stand this season is Bash Burger. Which excited me because I love burgers, and Josh Capon must have a good one because he did such great work with Pressed. So we waited on a fairly long line for these things and I ordered the Bash Burger. It had bacon onion jam and secret sauce, so I was really Jones-ed for this.

But while I expected nothing short of heaven, what I got was a glorified Whopper. I like Whoppers. But if something was replacing Pressed, it had better be spectacular. Bash Burger was just … okay. I’d have it again, but not with the lines the way they were on Saturday. But I’m sure Citi Field got what they wanted, a stand with a longer line than Pressed even though the food was much better at Pressed. And that leads me to my next rant:

The one thing we were really psyched for was this edible cookie dough at “Do”. It’s another one of those trendy places that Citi Field acquired much like the Fuku chicken sandwich last year, which really fell flat. But we were interested in this new trendy thing that was brought in. So we figured okay, seventh inning when we’re ready for dessert. I wish I could review it, but the line to the place was an hour long, easy. So we gave up because we didn’t want to miss the rest of that stellar game the Mets were putting together.

Two things. First: I don’t think the Mets will be satisfied until there’s a game where nobody is in their seats and everybody is on some long inconvenient line for trendy food. Second, everybody knew that this was a trendy place that would get some long lines. So why oh why would the Mets place it in the Promenade Club, which makes a long line even more inconvenient? That is the most absolute horrible place to put a stand that you know is going to have a long line. Why not two “Do” stands? The Arancini Brothers got a second stand. I think that even with this small sample size I have of one game, I think we can put another “Do” stand elsewhere in the park. It’s not going to kill anybody. (Bryce Harper might kill me, but a second “Do” stand won’t.)

Today’s Hate List

1. Gio Gonzalez
2. Trea Turner
3. Enny Romero
4. Koda Glover
5. Trendy food lines