A Beginner’s Guide to the Playoffs: Connor McDavid Edition

It’s that time of year where Oiler fans are usually studying draft eligible prospects, and hoping for a draft lottery win to help with the eternal slow march out of the depths.

This year, instead of depth charts, we’re looking at playoff matchups and injury reports and reading everything there is about the Oilers first round opponent (the San Jose Sharks).

While other fanbases have had some playoff experience in the last decade, Oilers fans haven’t had the luxury. Instead of a playoff preview (which you can find here), we’ve put together a Beginner’s Guide to the Playoffs for those of you who don’t remember what it was like in 2006.

The Rundown

Connor McDavid is an Edmonton Oiler, and he’s led this team into the playoffs for the first time in 11 years, after a lot of wandering through the desert. I know it’s weird to call him McJesus, but in a sense he’s at least a little like Moses.

The NHL regular season is merely a primer for the playoffs – two months of what could be the greatest highs combined with the lowest lows. Just to get you all ready for what’s coming, take a look at this gem from before Game 7 of the 2006 Stanley Cup Finals.

Now that you’re ready to go, here’s a few things you need to remember in order to survive the playoffs.

1. Hydrate – if you’re planning on drinking your life savings away, make sure you fill up on water throughout the day. If you’re in the Mountain time zone, these games start at either 8 or 830, and that’s a long time to wait. More waiting = more drinking; my rule is 1 water for every 3 drinks.
2. Plan the next morning before the game starts – You hear things all the time about how highly successful people will choose their clothes the night before to eliminate morning stress. The same is true for the playoffs. Make sure you’ve go your lunch together, and your coffee maker set and ready to turn on, and that you shower before you go to bed. If an 8pm game goes into triple OT, you’re looking at a 1am (or later) end-time. Shower at night. Morning-you will be grateful.
3. Eat something – You can’t subsist on beer alone. It’s nice to think you can, but it’s been 11 years. Your body needs food (to soak up the alcohol, and also to keep you nourished). I’m not going to tell you what to eat, but you probably shouldn’t just consume wings, either.
4. Ditch the razor – Playoff beards are all the rage, and are the best springtime tradition. Make the commitment early – as long as the Oilers are in the playoffs, stop shaving. (This isn’t just for people who can grow beards, either. Stop shaving your legs, too. Make it a game to see how long you can last.)
5. Remember that if you’re watching at home, your neighbours can hear you (especially in overtime), and they might not care about the hockey.
6. If you’re in Edmonton – Whyte Avenue is for fun, not fires. Those of you who were around during the 2006 Cup run will remember Whyte Avenue burning after a win. That was dumb. Let’s not burn anything down this time. Instead, have more beer. Or high five people. Something that doesn’t involve flames.
7. Regular season superstitions are heightened in the playoffs – if you have a gameday shirt that doesn’t get washed between wins, keep it up. If you’re one of those who has to wear a particular jersey every gameday, make that happen. If, at the games, the kid beside you eats nachos at the second intermission in Game 1 and they win, by god you better buy him some nachos in game 2.
8. Sleep on off-days. With the late starts this round, this one is pretty important.
   

   And finally…..

9. Remember that this is supposed to be fun. As Oiler fans, we grew accustomed to at least semi-regular appearances in the playoffs, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve been here. There’s been a tendency among Oiler fans (on twitter, and in real life apparently) to be jerks to fans of other teams. If you see someone around town who’s wearing a Sharks jersey, don’t be a dick. Let them cheer for their team, just like you get to cheer for yours.
   Be nice to people, too. Emotions will absolutely be running high over the next little while, and we need to remember that we’re people first and fans second.

Postscript

Friend of the Rig Camper Dave pointed out that one of the things we need to remember is that whatever celebrations happen during this playoff run, we need to let them just happen. We’ll never be able to recreate 2006, so let’s not try. It’s 2017, and we’ve got a different roster and a new building. Let’s act like it.