Candy And Cats

Let’s face it, three runs in two games shouldn’t equal one win. But the starting pitching has been good, and this is why the Mets built such a staff, to get them through these rough spells as Jacob deGrom did yesterday and Bartolo Colon attempted today with his good outing. The Mets did get their one win. I just thought it would come today. This wasn’t the game I had expected to lose this weekend. Not with Bud Norris on the hill, who is terrible. But I guess it doesn’t matter, right? Baseball look like nerds to the Mets right now.

That’s not a slam at smart people, I mean Nerds:

You try hitting one of those. That’s what the Mets see right now. Except white. (There are no purple baseballs, silly.)

Perhaps the two runs would have been enough for the Mets today, but probably not since they got them off the underbelly of the Braves bullpen, after the Braves blew it open in the eighth against our underbelly, Antonio Bastardo and Logan Verrett. The Mets bullpen is a slutty cat. Will bite you while ahead. But if it’s behind, it will present its belly to you and demand love … love that you will not get back. And while that may be the most bizarre metaphor I’ve ever come up with, the bottom line is this: Atlanta should have been the easy wins. Instead, the Mets are 7-6 against them this season, and I’m actually glad that they’re almost off the schedule. This is a sad state of affairs.

The Nationals defeated the Brewers on Sunday even though Jayson Werth lost a fly ball in the sun. (But thanks to the Brewers for doing the same damage to the Nationals as they did to the Mets.) This means the Mets are three games back with a big three game series in Washington. They will will catch a break as Stephen Strasburg has been put on the disabled list with an upper body injury. But who cares? The Mets can’t hit Bud Norris! The Nationals should just rest all of their pitchers and bring back Livan Hernandez to pitch all three games. I wouldn’t bet against three Livan shutouts right now.

Today’s Hate List

1. Chase Utley
2. Bud Norris
3. Livan Hernandez
4. Martin Prado
5. The Cubs Bullpen

Hashtag: Cat Slut Shaming