Choose Your Own Second Baseman: Grab Some Pine, Hernandez

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You’ve decided that your team can’t afford to carry Hernandez’s slumping stick and your team needs a spark to keep them afloat in the standings.  So you gently tell Luis that he would be of more use on the bench than in the lineup, and you do your best to convince him to be a team player and contribute from the bench.

Hernandez is distraught, but works hard off the field, hitting the weight room like nobody’s business.  He gains ten pounds of muscle and is better equipped to deal with the grind of a long season.  During one weight room session, teammate Ike Davis asks Hernandez to go to the snack machine and buy him a Power Bar.  Unfortunately, Hernandez accidentally places the 75 lb. bar bell on his toe.  Hard.  Hernandez then bravely proceeds toward the snack bar and turns a hairline fracture of his big toe into a bad break.  Hernandez is out for the season.

Teammates, especially Davis, notices the extra effort of Hernandez to walk across the room with a broken big toe to get the Power Bar.  When asked how he summoned up the courage to get the snack, Hernandez says: “What can I say … I like Ike.

“Doesn’t everyone?”

THE END

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