Cracking Up For The Right Reasons

Mike Baxter’s interview after five-walk game began with him just laughing.

— Adam Rubin (@AdamRubinESPN) August 5, 2012

Yeah, that’s the general reaction to a lot of Mets games. Mostly, it’s fans laughing to keep from crying. But on Saturday night, Mike Baxter couldn’t help but laugh at his offensive production. Five plate appearances, five appearances on base … but under the at-bat column a big fat zero. That’s because Baxter’s latest foray into history was to basically just stand in one place and become the first Met to walk five times in a nine inning game. Vince Coleman did it in a sixteen inning game, but the Mets lost … probably because Jeff Torborg couldn’t manage his way out of a wet paper bag while Kevin Bass went 0-for-7, but that’s just a guess.

(Hell, even Dwight Gooden got a pinch hit in that game. C’mon, Kevin.)

Edinson Volquez, who never pitches well against the Mets, was downright awful and couldn’t get through the second inning as he walked four batters and gave up a double to give the Mets the four run cushion they pretty much had on and off the entire game. But as much as you can blame Volquez, know that Baxter’s five walks came against five different Padres pitchers. This entire pitching staff has the vast expanse of Petco Park to play with, and they were still scared of Mike Baxter. If I’m Bud Black, I’m putting the heads of my entire pitching staff through a wall and feeding them from the other side until game time Sunday.

Also, Daniel Murphy had himself a night as well with four hits and a walk, which means the fifth and sixth hitters got on base a grand total of ten times. Awesome! Except that Andres Torres went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts and left 11 men on base. Eleven. That’s a lot of ducks to leave on a pond. Poor ducks.

Jeremy Hefner pitched six good innings against his (and Baxter’s) former team as he also helped the Mets to victory. (Just don’t try to thank him on Twitter … he gone.) With Johan Santana coming back after a rehab start in Brooklyn later today, Hefner can help the Mets as a long man from the bullpen. He along with Frangag Frantsisk, who made his return on Saturday about 20 pounds lighter, are probably the best chance to stabilize that rancid bullpen once and for all. Hefner, because the Mets haven’t had a decent long man since Elmer Dessens (that’s right, I said it). And Francisco, because Bobby Parnell can’t be counted on to be anything more than an absolute mess when he enters a game. Although the playoffs are probably out of reach, this stretch run might … might … be the one where the Mets finally end a season without completely turning into one giant bowl of Jell-O.

Or it might be another one where we all laugh at the end.