Double Sedative

Remember when the Mets were 3-1, and we rejoiced because the worse the Mets could do going to opening day was 3-3?

Well now the Mets are 3-3.  And nothing says “calm the f**k down, Mets fans” like giving up 21 runs in two games.

The Mets might not feel very good right now.  Forget the fact that Doc Halladay was typical Doc Halladay for the Phillies today.  Forget the fact that the Mets top two pitchers performed wonderful impressions of batting practice machines.  Forget that Spaceman Byrdak gave up a dinger to a lefty.  Forget that Phillies fans don’t even bother heckling Mets fans anymore.  But the golden nugget through all of this nonsense, was that Wilson Valdez had four hits and three RBI.

That’s right, that Wilson Valdez.  The guy who came to our side in 2009 as the 18th string shortstop who was going to give the Mets a good glove but no stick?  With the Mets, Mr. Golden Glove made errors in Washington that I traveled 300 miles to see in person.  For the Phillies, he’s Wade Boggs.  Of course he is.  And have you noticed that Valdez has beheaded the bunny from Hop and stapled it to his chin?  All right, maybe it wasn’t the bunny from Hop.  Maybe it was Russell Brand.  I can’t tell.  But Wilson Valdez now gives the kids nightmares.  But I guess that happens when you go to Philadelphia.

The only redeeming feature from Thursday was Shane Victorino being made to eat dirt by Pedro Beato up an in.  Too bad it happened because of a pitcher that wasn’t quite sure where his pitches were going … and it came about four years too late.