Drinking Game

“Yeah, start drinking early, get nice and rowdy (…) They have a lot of time to get lubed up then come out here and cheer for the home team.” –Tom Brady

By Tom’s logic, the crowd at tomorrow afternoon’s Mets game should be good and lathered. Mets fans have been drinking non-stop since the first of August. Between Bobby Parnell, David Wright’s errors, this lineup not being able to hit Brad Peacock (not Stephen Strasburg, not Jordan Zimmermann, not even Livan Hernandez … Brad Peacock!), and the inability of this roster to lay down a damn bunt … not to mention the decisions to bunt … Mets fans haven’t given themselves a couple of hours to sober up during the drop from 55-51 to 71-78.

It’s pointless to pinpoint where these games went wrong … the obvious answer is that these games went wrong by appearing on the schedule. Of course, hitting the ball to David Wright can always ruin a game, as his error led to the two unearned runs being given up by Mike Pelfrey. And of course, having Mike Pelfrey on the mound is another sure sign a game is about to go wrong. As well as Pelfrey pitched Wednesday night, not giving up any runs, Pelfrey has shown an uncanny ability to never be able to pick up for a player like Wright when things go wrong. Whether it’s an inability to bear down when things are dicey, or whether it’s just the pure fact that Pelfrey just isn’t very good, Pelfrey on the mound usually means bad things.

Or maybe the game went wrong when the lineup card was written, and Ike Davis and Daniel Murphy weren’t on it. Then, a lot of games went wrong that way lately. Or maybe it was the decision to bunt by Terry Collins with Justin Turner in the ninth with nobody out and two men on. Now, I agree that a major league hitter should be able to bunt. Granted. But guess what. The Mets aren’t any ordinary major leaguers … they’re major leaguers who can’t bunt. So knowing that, and knowing that Turner has the fifth highest average with runners in scoring position in the N.L., why in the world would you bunt? Miguel Tejada? Yes, bunt. Justin Turner? Not a great idea.

And then came the moment where the game went really wrong, Rick Ankiel’s existence. His diving catch off Jose Reyes took away a game-tying double (a triple if his hamstring was more stretchy) and ended the game. Ankiel has mad it his life’s work to punish the Mets for not swinging at all of his balls that went to the backstop during the 2000 NLCS, and he’s doing a great job. First with a strike to home plate from center field on Tuesday, and now with a diving catch on Wednesday. This could only mean that the four home run game is coming from Ankiel to sweep the Mets later today. I’ll say: two off Chris Schwinden, one of Ryota Igarashi, and one off the fan that wins the “Tweet us First and be Our Closer” contest. That is, if he’s sober enough to throw a hanging slider.

Remember, Tom Brady reminds you to keep hydrated, and cheer the home team. I look forward to our water-fueled rowdiness.