Gaby, Creator Spiritus

O Finger of the hand divine,

the sevenfold gifts of grace are thine;

true promise of the Chipper thou,

who dost the tongue with power endow.

Drive far away our Metstly foe,

and thine abiding peace bestow;

if Gaby be our preventing Guide,

no evil can our steps betide.

All right, maybe this isn’t what Michelangelo had in mind. But you know that somebody has to take over for Larry Jones in terms of murdering the Mets and all they stand for (which is evil, according to the Gregorian chant above) once Larry retires. Why not Gaby Sanchez? Sanchez, as you know, now has 6 HR’s and 22 RBI’s against the Mets in 99 at-bats, including two dingers on Saturday night which ended the Mets again as they lost 8-5. Projected over 786 at-bats, that’s 47 HR’s and 175 RBI’s. I have no idea why I picked that arbitrary number of 786 … oh wait, yes I do. It’s because that’s how many at-bats Larry has had against the Mets. His totals? Why, 47 HR’s and 146 RBI’s. This clearly means that the Marlins will have more runners on base for Gaby than the Braves have had for Larry, which makes sense if you surmise that Mike Pelfrey will be pitching for the Mets until the end of time, and if you factor in the comebacks of Oliver Perez and Steve Trachsel, and the free agent signing of Kei Igawa. (Sanchez is now salivating at the thought of a totally made-up and impossible scenario.)

While there’s plenty of fresh wounds for Gaby to open in the months and years ahead, he opened an old one for me:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=
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Yeah, remember when this franchise was all bent out of shape and “motivated” because Jose Reyes and Lastings Milledge did pretty much exactly the same thing four years ago? Yup. Times change. Hypocrisy never does.

Oh I forgot, we stand for evil … that’s right. The Marlins merely stand for fire sales and post game concerts. I keep forgetting.