Going Out, Perhaps, With a Bang Bang

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Well, Scott Hairston did his part. He not only hit two home runs (off righties!) against the Giants on Monday, including the go-ahead home run in the tenth to give the Mets an 8-7 victory, but he has set himself up to bring back as much haul as he possibly can if a desperate team were to call Sandy Alderson before four o’clock today. And if that desperate team does call, Sandy would have to be certifiable not to pull the trigger if the haul is even halfway decent for him. Or for Tim Byrdak. But you’ll forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.

Of course, I can’t be happy because even when the Mets win they make me want to stick a hot poker in one eye and an ice pick in the other. Thank goodness Terry Collins isn’t afraid to pull closers, because if Bobby Parnell was allowed to pitch any further in the ninth after a single, a double, and a groundout with a two run lead, the Mets would have lost another mind-numbing game. As it was, the game had to go to the tenth when Ike Davis ole’d a Nate Schierholtz grounder into a “double” (I’m George Clooney if that play was a double) which tied the game. And also thank the same goodness that Josh Edgin is actually a viable option out of the Mets bullpen. How awful is this group when a kid that’s been in the majors for all of fifteen minutes is the one that doesn’t make me puke?

How am I supposed to be happy when the Giants gave the Mets the margin of victory with a terrible play by Clay Hensley on a safety squeeze, and the Giants got a free run when Ronny Cedeno gave the Giants a run in the sixth when he booted an easy double play ball? And Manny Acosta comes into a safe 8-6 lead and turns it into a game that he has to look to the sky and ask his maker why life has to be so difficult afterwards? Trust me Manny, I ask the same question of my maker. And he gives me the same answer: It’s your fault, Manny Acosta. It’s your fault. Your fault I’m still trying to sort this nutty game out in my head at 3:30 in the morning. It’s you and your bullpen buddies’ fault that Alderson didn’t have the luxury of being a buyer at the deadline when the prices came down. The Dodgers got Brandon League for a single-A outfielder and a AA reliever. The Mets might have been able to do that if they were still a buyer. You know the price would have been higher a month ago when it still mattered. But now that the cows are out of the barn and the price is down, it doesn’t matter because it’s your fault, Manny Acosta. You and your friends.

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