If You Believe …

It’s gotten quite ridiculous now.

First off, let’s get something straight … and this is textbook as to why win-loss record can be a tad overrated: Chris Young goes six innings and gives up two runs, gets the loss. Miguel Batista gets two outs and gives up two runs, and he doesn’t get the loss even though his two runs were the ones that ultimately cost the Mets a win. This is stupid. Extremely stupid. Because we all know that Chris Young kicked ass and took names (well, until his pitch count went up … as usual) while Batista came in and set everything on fire. Everything.

But it’s what Batista said after this latest loss that made the Mets’ latest loss hilarious:

“Our team is going through a bad stretch right now. But my personal belief is we’re way better than our numbers are. Baseball is living proof that who you might not expect might be there in October. I know a lot of people didn’t expect us to be as good as we have this year. But I believe this team is way, way better than what it’s been playing. And regardless of the fact what other people might think, October is not here yet. We’ll see at the end of the season. …

“Right now they’re playing good baseball, but I don’t believe they’re a better team than us. They’re playing great baseball. But better team? I believe we’re the better team. We just have to play as we’re supposed to. Every team goes through a bad stretch, from the greatest to the worst. I remember I told Terry two month ago: ‘I haven’t seen a team better than us.’ … We just have to believe how good we are and just go out there and perform. I believe we are the best team in baseball. We just have to play like one. That’s what we’re not doing.”

There’s so many things wrong with this I don’t know where to begin. First off, there’s nothing wrong with believing that you’re a good team … even better than you really are. Because really, players should believe in the team they play for. I don’t want Miguel Batista to come out and say “we suck”. That wouldn’t be very … poetic.

But to say the Mets are better than the Nationals … dude. Not only are the Mets 8 games worse than the Nationals, not only are the Mets 2-6 against them this season, but the Mets are 27-27 against the Nationals from 2009-2011, when the Nationals themselves were 208-286 … so the Mets barely broke even against the Nats when they blew baboon testicles.

And what is with this “we have to believe how good we are …” What the hell has this season become, a Dr. Phil episode? I mean, can you picture Batista in the clubhouse during this latest “team meeting” the Mets had before the game on Wednesday (yeah that worked out really well, didn’t it?) Batista is in the room channeling his inner Lena Horne.

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Because believing there’s a reason to be works great in the movies. But in the real world, believing in yourself has to be accompanied by actually performing. And when a select group of people on a baseball team aren’t performing to the point where this group has a higher ERA than any similar group in franchise history including the 1962 Mets who won 40 f*cking games, then you could believe in Santa Claus, Jaws, and Charlie Sheen all you want … it won’t make them real.

Believing? That’s far from the Mets’ problem. If there was no internal belief in the New York Mets they would have been in Cub and Astroland by May 1st. Has nothing to do with belief. Because for the first six innings of most games, this team plays like it believes in seventeen Easter Bunnies. But then comes the seventh and eighth innings and this team “stops believing”? NO! It’s because you stink, Miguel! You and everyone you hang out with in that bullpen. And you’re the one who’s going to tell everybody else that they need to believe? You and your 107.00 ERA and your WHIP of LOL?

You helped waste a ninth inning home run by Jason Bay! JASON BAY!!!!!

I suppose that I shouldn’t blame Miguel. It’s easy to talk about believing when everybody in the organization unimaginably and psychotically believes in him. But is Miguel Batista really the one who should be sending this message? There’s only one person who got away with talking about believing when his ERA was five. And Batista is no Tug McGraw.

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A programming note for you fine folks: I will be away from the blog until Sunday. However … don’t lose our bookmark until then. For the first time since I lost that bet that we’ll never talk about again, this blog will be in somebody else’s hands. You see, a young man came to me looking to write about the Mets. I said “well, son you have to prove your worth if you want to write about this team.” So I put him through his paces.

I asked him who Tom Seaver was … he got that one right. I asked him who Dwight Gooden was … he got that one right. His eyes gleamed as I mentioned Kelvin Chapman and Dave Kingman.  Then I asked him who Aaron Heilman was … and he puked all over my shoes.

The clincher: I asked him who Guillermo Mota was. He threw a baseball at my head. Then took everything in my medicine cabinet and tried to inject himself with it. It was then I said “son, you may send your message to the world.”

So I hereby introduce you to Scott Robb, who you hockey fans might know from his work on Runnin’ With the Devils. He will be keeping you entertained here for the next three days while I am away, so make him feel welcome by following him on twitter and shooting him some comments. I for one am looking forward to his work, and you should be too. So I hereby give Scott the wheel. And I can promise you that if he crashes the car, he won’t have Duaner Sanchez in the back seat.