Imagine There’s a Heaven

Don’t mind me, I just want to see how this would look …

Maybe when I wake up this morning, the picture you see to your right will be a reality.  It would make this 2010 west coast free-fall worth it for me.

And it would win the contest for Dayton Moore once and for all.

The names being discussed are Perez, Jeff Francoeur, and Luis Castillo on one side, Jose Guillen, Gil Meche, and Kyle Farnsworth on the other.  I can’t see Guillen coming to a team that has Angel Pagan … it would defeat the purpose of dealing the extra outfielder (though I realize I’m applying logic to this situation, which I should never assume).  So realistically, this could be a swap of Perez and Frenchy for Meche and The Professor.  I’m not sure what good this is going to do in terms of wins in the standings, and it would do nothing to alleviate the Mets payroll.  But if it ends the “Perez’s upside” tease once and for all, I’m fine with it.  At least we know that Gil Meche is a stiff and we’ll have no false pretense about fictional characters like “upside”, “potential”, and “stuff” … all of which we know don’t exist.  Not in Flushing, and not in Gil Meche.  And Farnsworth?  Just another arm for Snoop to blow out so he’ll be happy about that.

Only thing is, if Frenchy gets traded, then who’s going to improve attendance in New York City’s schools?  This trade would help Kansas City’s school attendance, if not Kansas City’s lineup.  But in New York, it’s always the kids that suffer.  But hey, it’s a good lesson for them to learn when they grow up to be Mets fans.  Besides, kids cutting school would be worth it to make sure Perez is relocated to the land of barbecue where he can have pig-out sessions with Ted Higuera all the live long day.  So yeah, I hope to wake up to news of Perez wearing a different shade of blue … it would be nice revenge for Bill Pecota and Ambiorix Burgos.

One thing I’m pretty sure I’m going to wake up to is Howard Johnson being gone.  I can’t argue it after the Mets had less hits this road trip than Sean Avery had in one game against the Devils (y’know, Avery might not be a bad fit in this lineup as much as he hits … at least he wears the cap well).  I still say that it’s a shame that grown men need somebody to be fired to kick them in the ass, although I’m not sure that it would help in this case.  I can’t see these players all of a sudden start seeing pitches better and showing more plate discipline because Howard Johnson is replaced.  But as I was reminded tonight by a dear friend: “Scapegoats make the baseball world go round.”  True.  And little known fact: Scapegoats are part of a balanced breakfast.

I only wish the scapegoat would be higher up, as Snoop once again proves that there’s no consistent philosophy in this organization.  Sunday’s loss say the guy who let Carlos Beltran talk him out of a benching upon his third game back, and the same guy who let Jose Reyes bat righty on righty despite a strained oblique, drew the line at his knuckleball pitcher remaining in the game with a minor glute injury even though he did everything except pull out an M2 Browning and shoot rounds into the sky … and even though the bullpen was already gassed from the previous day.  How can there be consistency in the Mets’ lineup when there’s no consistency from the supervisor?

Well, we wanted change, and it looks like we’re going to get it on an off day.  Ultimately, and unfortunately, it’s change for the sake of change.  Though if change involves Oliver Perez, then it’ll do you good.

(Editor’s note: Howard Johnson’s dismissal at 2:08)