It’s Like Christmas …

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… only in that it comes but once a year. But really, it's the exact opposite of Christmas. It's the day all hopes and dreams are taken away, by a man who by no means do you want coming down your chimney, or on your television sets.

Yes, it's the day that Jeff Wilpon emerges from his hole and sees his shadow, which means one more year of mediocrity.

On Tuesday, Jeff Kardashipon was at the Boys and Girls Club in Garfield for "Sandy Service Day". He was there "with other Mets personnel", which should excite any child if Jeff Wilpon is the most notable member of "Mets personnel" to show up at your event. "WOW! SAUL KATZ MADE A BALLOON INTO A POODLE AND GAVE IT TO ME … at least it's supposed to be a poodle."

Seriously … is everybody in Chile hunting doves?

But we all know why Lil' Jeffy was there … because he of golden spoon can't help himself be the center of attention and have a media session about the state of the team. I mean, come on … do you think the man who is addicted to photo ops was really there to paint a wall? Go to the link and look at the picture of Jeffy taken by Adam Rubin. He's painting a wall in a fleece, khakis, and loafers, with a look on his face which screams: "I need a minion for this". Nobody I know wears that to paint a wall. And what the kids will soon find out is that if Jeffy painted that wall with the same competence with which he performs other tasks, then kids who breathe near that wall will contract MRSA within a week!

But I digress. Let's hear what Skippy says about the state of the team … specifically first base:

"There's probably a glut of first basemen. You can count five, if you wanted to. Something has got to happen there with the logjam. There's been some interest already. Where that interest goes and what that brings back, that you've to let play out a little bit. And it probably won't be until the GM Meetings [in mid-November] or maybe even the winter meetings [in December]."

On not pursuing Abreu, Wilpon added: "We've got five first basemen that could play it, and that didn't really seem like the point of need. If he played left or right field, I think we probably would have offered the guy a contract."  

Chris Rock says that you could drive with your feet if you want to … doesn't make it a good idea. You could also count five first basemen on the roster if you wanted to also. Doesn't mean it's a good idea to go into the season with the same mediocrity you've had forever. Hey, they're so good that you're trying to trade the top two for ten cents on the dollar!

Hence the notion that this season is already over. Because Jeff Wilpon thinks "we're good". Oh, and I'll believe that you would have offered Abreu a contract if he played the outfield when I see a Mets offer on the table for Shin Soo Choo, who also plays the outfield. Or any other outfielder for 11 million a year. Can't wait for your next excuse at your next photo op when that doesn't happen. Maybe you can plant a hibiscus in your silk prince's robe.

What else, pray tell?

Wilpon indicated the Mets are only fully pleased with four of the 25 spots on the roster: third base and three spots in the starting rotation. "I think three of the starting pitchers we're very pleased with — [Jonathon] Niese, [Dillon] Gee and [Zack] Wheeler," Wilpon said. "That, along with David [Wright], I think would be the three or four we're solidified on."

I loved that this line was scrutinized as "OMG HE DIDN'T MENTION DANIEL MURPHY!!! TRADE COMING!!! WORLD ENDING!!!" Why do we fall for this every … single … year? First off, and I can't stress this enough: As much as Jeff Kardashipon wants to be the general manager of the team, he's not! And while he is the GM's direct supervisor, it doesn't make him qualified to have an informed opinion on personnel. That's why he hired a general manager. Because believe me, if Jeff Wilpon was at all qualified to make baseball decisions, then he would have an official title other than "Wannabe GM". But he's not, so he doesn't. (He's barely qualified to paint a wall.) That doesn't mean he hasn't made baseball decisions in the past. Though I'm sure any decision he's made behind the scenes and made his general manager take the fall for (cough, Kazmir, cough) was the wrong one.

For all we know, Jeff Wilpon omitted Daniel Murphy's name because he's forgotten Daniel Murphy is on the team!

The rest of Jeff Wilpon's quotes can die in a fire. I'm not going over them simply because I believe nothing this attention whore says. He's a main reason why this team is in the shape that it is in, and he needs to stop doing interviews. He probably needs to stop painting walls too.

I don't generally like to step out of character but I want to tell you an absolutely true story. I approached the CEO of a sports franchise to interview him. This person was there with another high ranking official, and it was at a legitimate sports event, not a staged photo op. Wanted to ask this person about the night's events. The very polite response: "This is his night and I don't want to steal his thunder."

Somebody could learn a little something.

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