Moneyless Ball

So who does Brad Pitt play in this movie?

Admit it, now that Moneyball is a week away from being out, you’ve already Hollywood-ized his next project: Terry Collins explodes and threatens bodily harm on everybody, and the Mets come out and score 12 runs and crush the Braves. I’m sure that once this hits the big screen, the part before Friday’s fun fest where Collins admits that his “fold up the tent” rant was fueled more by execution and not effort (and not by the execution of his bullpen via a firing line in the Delta Sky Club) will be conveniently forgotten about:

“I don’t think it’s ever effort. It’s obviously all the execution side. Sometimes that can go hand in hand, but I watch these guys work in the cage. I watch them work on the field. So it’s not the effort side. We just haven’t been executing at all. … Anytime you don’t hit, the games can look slow. The games can look like there’s no energy.” 

If he had just said that yesterday …

Brad Pitt could play Collins, but I see that part going to John Mahoney, reprising his Kid Gleason role (both managers having dealt with owners either having no money, or having money but not wanting to spend it.) Pitt could play David Wright, who had two home runs and five RBI, or Jason Bay who had a spectacular home run robbing catch to send Alex Gonzalez to the bench in wonderment. But neither one of those guys were the ones with no effort on Thursday, no? Seems rather silly to waste Brad’s star power on two guys who weren’t lacking in effort, though I’m sure the script writers have adjusted things to show that Wright and Bay were smoking cigarettes on the bench Thursday, constantly missing their at-bats, or fighting each other on the bench constantly.

But think of the backstory where everybody else in the league covets the star shortstop, including the guy who used to play alongside Brad Pitt.

“The first option for this team should be finding a guy who’s a leadoff batter. Then, if you want to add another bat, I could be the second option (…) The only way you can manufacture runs is to have a guy at the top of the lineup who gets on base, steals bases and makes the job easier for the guys behind.” -Carlos Beltran

“No way. He said that? No way. He said that? I’m going to call him, ‘What are you talking about?’ (…) In the All-Star Game, the guy from Milwaukee, left field, Braun, he told me, ‘Come over,’ play with him. Stuff like that. When they tell me that, I just laugh. We’ll see what happens. We’ll find out soon.” -Jose Reyes

This movie ends with Beltran, Reyes, and Brad Pitt on the phone figuring out how to rob the Bellagio and escape prison and finding obscurity by signing with the Florida Marlins.