Oilers Fan Stuns Experts; Successfully Rationalizes Hall Trade

Oilers fan stuns experts; Successfully rationalizes Hall trade

Local hockey fan (and advanced stats guru) Guy Woods has stunned physicists and hockey fans alike with his ability to successfully rationalize the Taylor Hall for Adam Larsson trade. The trade, which was announced Wednesday; came under heavy fire by most fans and NHL pundits. The move saw Taylor Hall traded for Adam Larsson straight across, without even so much as a 3rd round draft pick thrown in. Mr.Woods held an open lecture at the University of Alberta on Thursday in which he demonstrated the the data he had accumulated to support his theorem.

“As these equations clearly show, Taylor Hall wasn’t traded for Larsson straight up. We must consider all quantum possibilities, and as a result of the data both myself and Bob Stauffer have gone through, the return was actually Hall and the ghost of Pat Quinn for Milan Lucic, Jason Demers, and some other things that theoretically could happen. Schrodinger’s cat is neither alive, nor dead, until we see results next season.”

Mr.Woods went on to provide a powerpoint presentation with more clearly outlined graphs for the mathematically challenged:

Woods continued: “Hypothetically speaking, we actually traded Ryan Smyth for Connor McDavid and Adam Larsson. That’s a brilliant trade, and I’m not sure anyone can deny it. Mathematics don’t lie.”

After the open lecture concluded, yours truly reached out to U of A faculty members in an effort to gauge their reactions. Local physicist and fellow Oilers fan Tyler Bellow agreed with Mr.Woods theories: “Look, there’s literally no proof we aren’t living in a holographic universe. If anything, the math indicates it might even be possible. Technically, he’s not wrong.”

We attempted to contact the logic studies professor at the University of Alberta for further comment but were promptly told to “**** off” before having our phone call terminated. We’ll have more for you as this story develops.

*This is a satire blog and none of this actually happened. All names used in this blog are purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. This website can’t be held legally accountable for any similarities between the aforementioned fictional names and anyone that might actually exist. This is my best lawyer impression and you should follow me on twitter:

@KjellIverson

**This blog was duelly inspired by both the continual ineptitude of Oilers Management and the latest North By North Gretz podcast, which you can listen to here: https://soundcloud.com/northxnorthgretz/episode-36-goodbye-taylor-hall