Oilers Postgame: FINALLY

Andy Dufresne may have crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit-smelling foulness, but Oilers fans have been waiting for this moment for 3935 days. (In case you’ve been living under a rock, the Oilers haven’t been in the playoffs since June of 2006, when they fell a game short of winning the NHL’s top prize.)

Since then, Oiler fans have been witness to some truly terrible hockey; remember the Fail for Nail?

It doesn’t matter anymore, though, because WE’RE PLAYOFF BOUND BABY.

First Period

• Gryba in for Benning because of that shot block last game; Hendricks is out because that’s the best decision for everyone involved.
• 00:49 – Remenda is still talking about things no one cares about; Klefbom scores. Darryl Sutter challenges for goaltender interference and somehow the goal is overturned. Garbage.
• Glass banging guy in the front row needs to be stopped.
• Eric Gryba and Kyle Clifford get into it, and (I think) Grybes comes out on top.
• Remenda thinks that a fight can change the temperature of an 18.000 seat building.
• Oilers-themed Molson commercial! We’ve made it now!
• I got distracted, but apparently Jeff Carter has 31 goals and Jarome Iginla is playing in his 100th game against the Oilers.
• Caggiula rings one off the post so hard my ears are still ringing.
• Connor McDavid is amazing and his 1-0 goal was incredible.
• Remenda is surprised that a 20 year old who has been groomed and media-trained since the age 12 is a consummate professional
• I keep thinking that Nick Dowd is Jim Dowd, which would make me about 12.
• Iginla scores his 623rd career goal. Kevin Quinn couldn’t tell that it had gone in, even though it was glaringly obvious.
• I would give anything for Quinn and Remenda to talk solely in song lyrics for an entire period. (This thought was brought to you by Quinn saying “Work it” and me immediately thinking of Missy Elliot.)

Second Period

• Nothing doing early, though the Oilers did outhit the Kings 17-16 in the first. MOAR BIG HOCKEY, or whatever.
• Dustin Brown had a good chance, but I can’t take him seriously because of this:
  
• Darnell Nurse is pretty good. I look forward to seeing him in the postseason.
• Eric Gryba scores an ugly goal (his second of the year) to make it 2-1. Lots of traffic in front of Quick, and he was just too slow to make the save.
• Jarrett Stoll is on my teevee and I am not complaining.
• Oilers Drum Guy is near the TV mics. It’s excellent.
• Cam Talbot muzzles a shot from Muzzin.
• There’s a lull, and Remenda was talking. It sounded like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon.
• Jeff Carter to the box. Unlike Jamie Benn, he probably knows what to do.
• Muzzin was all over Caggiula; I want to make another muzzle joke so bad.
• Eberle was robbed at the tail end of the power play. Lightning fast release, and a Quicker glove.
• Muzzin’s shot is muzzled again. Talbot’s really got his number tonight.
• The Oilers have 14 shots through 2 periods. Looks like they’re conserving energy or something.

Third Period

• During the intermission, Spec and DeBrusk were talking about how Drai will probably eventually make the shift back to centre and that the Oilers need to find a winger to play with him. I’m just going to let that sit for a while.
• OILERS SCORE!
• Just kidding. Whistle blew before the goal, for reasons I don’t understand. A Kings penalty, perhaps? But the Oilers had possession.
• Connor needs to be more selfish and shoot more on the PP.
• Refs definitely blew the call. Should have had a goal and not a PP.
• Oilers on the PP again, because Tanner Pearson used his stick as a spear, son.
• Jeff Carter can still snipe; that’s probably why he has 31 goals.
• (Side note: I get to change my twitter avi when they clinch. I’m nervous like I was in 2006 during the Round 2 triple OT game.)
• Desharnais has a beauty of a chance, but Quick gets the stick out rather….quickly.
• I got real distracted by the GIANT BUTTERFLIES living in my stomach. I’m so nervous I feel like throwing up.

That’s it. They finally did it. The Oilers are in the playoffs before April 1st (which is all I ever want), and they can’t ruin my birthday anymore (which they’ve done pretty much every year except 2006).