Don’t major league baseball players do plenty for your kids? They give them foul balls. Keith goes out to the picnic area and teaches your kids how to hit. Noah Syndergaard holds a clinic for your kids.
And how do they repay him?
Syndergaard on the DL with "hand, foot and mouth disease." Contracted it the Mets believe working a youth camp.
— Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) July 22, 2018
Parents … why are you not vaccinating your children every three days and dipping them in Purell yet*? Also, you should burn their clothes every week. The Mets organization is diseased enough. They don’t need your extra germs. You’re disgusting. Stop infecting our ballplayers while they’re trying to acquire a shred of dignity. Now I probably have to watch Chris Flexen pitch two innings because you can’t get your children to stop taking their feet in their hands and putting them in their mouths. Because that’s clearly how hand, foot and mouth disease works, right? Thanks a lot. Stupid germs.
Oh, and tonight’s game against the Yankees was rained out. It’s God’s way of saying he’s sick of ESPN’s Jacob deGrom to the Yankees shit just like the rest of us.
They’ll make it up on August 13th, which is after the trading deadline. Hopefully it’ll be aired by a network that has never heard of Jacob deGrom. Like Ovation … or some shit.
Today’s Hate List
- Hands
- Mouths
- Feet
- Children
- Juan Samuel
(*Editor’s Disclaimer: I know your kid didn’t mean it. But think about that Purell thing.)
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