See You in Hell

If there was ever a doomsday scenario coming to fruition, Tuesday was it. The Mets lose again, Jose Reyes has three hits and three walks, and the team administering the beating is the team that seems to be the most interested in him, the San Francisco Giants.  If you’re a Jose Reyes fan, and chances have it that you are, you’d better start waving good-bye.  Make your plans to buy those tickets for the end of July and practice your standing ovation technique.  Hell, if Reyes keeps this up this series, the Giants just might take Reyes to their team bus on Thursday afternoon.  Brandon Belt, Madison Bumgarner, or Zack Wheeler?  Or all three?  Sure.  Reyes had a good enough three games to justify that.

Usually there are layers that are much more complicated than this when it comes to trades, but after tonight, Reyes to the Giants seems about as obvious as one of Taylor Buchholz’s fastballs.  Just ask Aubrey Huff.  (I was shocked to see the boxscore and see that this was Buchholz’s first loss.  I was sure he had seven or eight by now.  I thought he lost games just by warming up in the bullpen.  It only seems that way.)

And speaking of hell, I imagine that in Guillermo Mota’s hell, he faces Scott Spiezio over … and over … and over again.

No wait, I’m sorry.  That’s MY HELL!!!

I’m in Row V in Section 2, just like I was then.  Except in hell, I have a seat belt that never unbuckles.  And it’s 30 below and I’m wearing gym shorts and a tank top!!!  You might be wondering why it’s 30 below in hell.  Well I’ll tell you why: Because on Tuesday night, Mota pitched a scoreless inning, and has an ERA of 2.29 on the season.  Yeah, that Guillermo Mota.  The same Guillermo Mota who existed in 2007 merely to make my life a hell on earth.  You don’t succeed at much, Guillermo.  But you succeeded at that.  You succeeded then, and you succeeded on Tuesday in making hell a cold place for me and my gym shorts.  And a meatball sandwhich on flavored bread that’s frozen solid and breaks my teeth when I try to eat it.

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Hell, not just for children anymore.