Sick-Lee

Angel Pagan left Monday’s debacle after the fifth inning with a stomach virus. Pagan was missing from the on-deck circle (no truth to the rumor he was playing pinochle with Bobby Bonilla) while he was in the process of being sick before rushing back to ground out against Cliff Lee. I’m assuming that either Pagan was poisoned by a Phillies fan (wouldn’t be surprised … “Victorino’s Revenge” I believe they call it), Dillon Gee’s remarkably bad outing caused Pagan to puke, he vomited on purpose because a 11-year-old girl walked by (when in Rome, right?) or he fell ill hearing the news that the Mets had actually talked about making Mike Pelfrey a closer (like I did):

Manager Terry Collins recently approached Mike Pelfrey, the Opening Day starter, with an idea: Could Pelfrey be the closer next year? Sure, the pitcher said.

After hearing the idea, the front office squashed it. Not only does Pelfrey (6-10, 4.61 ERA), a pitcher who often loses fastball command and struggles to miss bats, make little sense as a closer, but his chief source of value is his ability to provide 200 competent innings each season.

Yeah, great idea. Let’s give a guy with no out pitch the ninth. Pelfrey can barely handle jams in the third inning. So to counteract that, let’s give him less innings, but have every inning he’s involved in decide the game. Man, poor Terry Collins. The state of this team has finally driven him to hallucinations. Luckily, there’s a real checks and balances system with the Mets with a safety valve that automatically kicks in common sense (that would be Sandy Alderson). If this was Snoop and Omar? “Pelfrey a closer??!? Why that’s a capital idea! Let’s toast with lots of beer! And hey let’s make Joaquin Arias an outfielder!”

More losses like 10-0 to the Phillies and Collins is going to pick a lineup by throwing darts at the players. “Ouch!” “Oh, sorry Lucas. Guess that means you’re leading off tonight.” I guess Cliff Lee makes a lot of lineups look bad, much like lineups of any kind make Ryota Igarashi look bad with the glorified batting practice he throws. We saw both on Monday. And it was enough to make anyone sick. Moral Victory of the Night”: At least Pagan didn’t vomit on purpose